Adjusting ....

Using the word adjusting may be an understatement ... I am referring to multi-focal contacts.  I have absolutely no issues with my distance vision ... near vision ... well if you are anywhere around my age, you understand.  The contacts make life easier ... not always looking for a pair of reading glasses ... or afraid I'll get some where and my reading glasses are not in my purse ... and I'm able to see my phone screen without the glasses.  I got them yesterday and putting them in wasn't an issue ... getting them out I kinda went into panic mode ... because they wanted to stay in ... or maybe I needed to calm down and drag them out ... of which I did.  <smile>  I promised to give them a week and I am going to do that.  They are different that's for sure.

The Very Best King Sized Bed ...

YOU THOUGHT YOUR BED WAS COMFY!

Thank God for that bed and the Baby who slept there!

Amen

Nicest place to be: in someone's thoughts

Safest place to be: in someone's prayers

Best place to be: in God's Hands

God Bless You and God Bless America!!!!!!

Thanks Fred for this ... I love it!

genam44@charter.net

Loving the Cool Weather ...

It's a great day to be alive ... but then every day is.  Thankful for energy this morning and working joints that aren't as bad as yesterday.  Woke up at 4:00am ... go figure it's my day off!  Laundry done, house cleaned, Tootie at the groomer.  Have some paperwork to fill out and when Tootie is finished, it's errands errands errands ...

Wanted to share a few pictures I just took out in the back yard.  It's cool and breezy and so wonderful to step out especially when you're hot from cleaning.  <laughing>

Have a fabulous Friday ...

Blessed and praying blessings on you today.


genam44@charter.net

Going to a Place I Did Not Want to Be ...

Tonight it was so weird how something sucker punched me right in the gut.  My daughter and grand daughter who lives with me came in from work and they were wearing two of the hats I had collected during chemo.  They looked absolutely precious ... each with their own little style.  I made a comment to Alicia that I was glad I had kept the hats because winter was coming and wearing them this year would be totally different than wearing them last year.  Last winter I was going through chemo and it was necessary for me to wear hats because I did not have any hair but I thought this year it would be different because I would not be wearing the hats because of chemo but rather because I wanted to.  Alicia came in my room and was trying some of the hats on so I thought I would join her.  The first hat I put on I had actually never worn ... cute little felt type hat with felt flower embellishment ... so cute and the color is green (my favorite).  I put the hat on and I couldn't stand it ... the way it looked ... it hid all my newly grown hair and the memory of chemo came flooding back and I pulled it off and left the room.  There was a sick feeling boiling up in my stomach and the rush of memories was too much.   It was strange the way the feelings came back the way they did.  The hat took me to a place that I didn't want to be.  At this point I sincerely doubt I try the hats again ... I don't know we will see. In the meantime I will enjoy the hair that I have and I've made the decision to do something with the color.  I had been a blonde for so many years before chemo and now my hair is so dark and needs some .... some .... something.  Stay tuned ....

The side effect of the Arimidex (estrogen inhibitor) continues giving me pain in my joints.  Generally on a daily basis I handle the pain well but today it was worse.  Yesterday at work they did a fire drill which means I had to walk down 10 flights of stairs.  I did just fine but during the night which is when my joints start getting stiff due to inactivity, my knees and ankles hurt rather bad.  Before I get out of bed in the mornings, I work both my knees and my ankles ... it's like getting them oiled so that I can ... first get out of bed and stand up and second be able to walk.  Walking quickly when I first get up just doesn't happen and this morning my steps were more like scoots across the floor until the stiffness eased up a bit.  I try not to complain because I know this is something I will live with for at least the next four years.  As I mentioned yesterday when I did my Breast Cancer Awareness presentation ... people often think when the last chemo treatment is finished ...  you pop back in to your normal life.  Yes, we get our life back ... it's a new normal for us ...  but our new normal includes the side affects of the left over chemo in our systems and the drugs that we now have to take.  With all that said ...  I continue to say that I am blessed and so very thankful for where I am today ... stiff knees, ankles, elbows and all.  And I will continue to praise my Lord.      

Busy week at work ... I think they are secretly trying to kill me but I have a news flash for them ... the cancer didn't and neither are they.  <laughing>  It's just an extremely busy time of the year for the position I am in and add to that a very broken personnel system ... it's a bad recipe and the end result is not good either.

My trial (sample) contacts come in tomorrow and I'm so excited.  They are reading contacts which should eliminate all the glasses I have everywhere around the house.  It's so annoying.  I reckon age has caught up with my eyes.  OUCH!





Don't forget ... early voting is going on right now ... GO VOTE!
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As I mentioned in previous post, Kristina on the show Parenthood is going through breast cancer.  Someone told me today that Monica Potter who portrays Kristina on the show actually had a scare that involved breast cancer and she ask the producers to write breast cancer into the script so she could help educate others on the disease.  I have added this weeks episode if you care to watch it.  It is truly like this show is telling my breast cancer journey.  You have to get through the 45 second commercial and the previous show clips before the clip starts.





As I close tonight I want to say ... I'm so blessed and thankful to be where I am today.  The aches and pains are minor daily interruptions and nothing I cannot handle.  I know there are folks in world who are journeying down much bigger and rougher roads than I and I pray for them.

Blessed and praying blessings for you.  

genam44@charter.net

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to ME!!!!

Thank you sweet Father for your love and healing.  Thank you that you held my hand as I waded through the troubled waters of this past year and on those days that I could not walk on my own, You picked me up and carried me.  It is your name I praise and give the praise as I celebrate this day ... my one year anniversary of being cancer free.

The year behind me has gone by so fast.  A year ago today at this time of the morning - 5:00am - my sister and I were checking in at Baylor-All Saints Hospital for my double mastectomy.  It was a great day for me as I knew in a few hours I would have the cancer out of my body.  After we checked in and were placed in a room, my family began arriving and the medical staff got moving on all that had to be done before surgery.  I was taken down to a special room where they injected radioactive dye into my tumors.  Yes, that hurt.  The dye was to assist my doctor in finding any cancer that may have escaped from the tumors and into my lymph nodes.  As it turned out, there was 0.6 cm found in my sentinel lymph node under my left arm.  That required a little more extensive surgery to take 14 of my lymph nodes to ensure that all the cancer were gotten.  After a five hour surgery, I was reunited with family and friends and on my road to recovery.  Today ... join me as I praise the Lord who watches over us all and wants only the best for us.  I will celebrate today ... life, love and laughter.

Last night I had my own private celebration as both of my girls and all three of my grandbabies and my awesome son-in-law were here for the evening.  Bonnie and Buddy came for a visit but for me it was a celebration.  I can remember after my diagnosis how desperately I wanted to be here for my grandbabies ... I wanted to know them and I wanted them to know me.  Today I can say  ...  I'm here, I'm alive and I'm making the most of life.  How about you?

********************
On Monday I called The Center because I got anxious about the results of the 'tumor marker' blood test.  The results came back good - Praise the Lord.  My number for that test was 31 ... the number that the medical world wants it below is 38 ... and praise the Lord that mine was.  I ask what my number was when I was diagnosed and it was 39.  Please continue to pray that all the cancer is completely gone from my system.  I am truly thankful and blessed.

********************
On Tuesday I had my eyes checked.  I was just sure that something was amiss with my distance vision but I got good news ... nothing was wrong.  My doctor told me that as we age, our eyes take a little longer to focus.  GREAT news!  My up close vision is another story ... the story a bunch of us live with every day.  I got a new prescription for reading glasses and also contacts.  I tried contacts a few years ago and loved them.  My issue was that my eyes produce quite a bit of protein and that clouds the contact.  Since that time, they have come out with a new cleaner and contraption.  I'm gonna give it try because contacts are definitely my preference.

********************
The week has been really busy at work but I'm so thankful for the job and benefits that I have.  I work with a great group of people and I still love the look of amazement when someone ask me where I work and I tell them ... the National Weather Service.  I quickly let them know I am not a meteorologist and responsible for any issues they have with the forecasts.  <laughing>  Just kidding to any of the meteorologist I work with.  <smile>

So this morning as every joint in my body seems to be screaming at me with pain due to the Arimidex (estrogen inhibitor) I say ...  Life is good, I am blessed and looking forward to many years of playing with my grandbabies.  I leave you today with a happy heart and praising my God.

Blessed and praying blessings for you today.
genam44@charter.net

Where's Your Focus?

Do you ever lose your focus on what is really important?  It seems when this happen, we skip from one thing to the next.  Oh this will make me happy or that will make me happy ... oh look at that over there ... and the list goes on and on.  And then there's the ... only if or what if ... games our mind plays on us.  If only I had more money ... If only I had more time.  I happen to have been born with a mind ... a creative mind ... might I add <smile>...  that runs 90 mph at any given time.  Let me tell you that when your mind runs that fast, your body cannot possibly keep up.  I have things I want to do and I run out of time or I run out of body power.  I have caught myself recently not sitting still and talking more to my Father in heaven.  The only reason I think this happens is because of where I've been ... on this cancer journey.  I think I have felt that I lost creative time this past year to this mean old disease and I guess in reality maybe I have but I want to focus on what I have gained.  I have gained a greater walk with my Lord.  He's been my bestest friend.  Sometimes I may push Him away when I think that I can handle things on my own ... well that's just a big shame on me ... because I know that hurts His feelings because He desires to be right beside me all the time.  I crawl back to Him as the guilty child and I reach for His hand and say ... I am sorry Father.  He grabs me and holds me tight and I know things are going to be OK.  Thank you Father for loving me no matter what.

I mentioned in a post last week about The Prayer series that Pastor Robert is doing at Gateway.  He is one of the most open preachers I have ever heard.  He puts it all out there about his own life.  He mentioned in his first sermon on prayer that a few months ago his own prayer life was lacking.  He didn't know why.  I do not remember how he figured out what the problem was but he shared this with us.  Generally when we stop praying and moving away from God in our prayer life it's because we do not want to have to think about the things that we need to pray about.  Kinda like that saying ... out of sight, out of mind.  If we don't pray about them ... we don't have to think about them ... then our world is OK.  WRONG!  We are not OK, we are 'stuffing' ... stuffing those issues that need to be on our lips asking God for help in getting us through the issues/dark valleys.  I learned the word 'stuffer' from the book I read a while back titled Unglued by Lisa TerKeurst.  Get a copy and read it.  Your eyes will be opened w-i-d-e.  I don't want to be a stuffer, it gets nothing accomplished. How about you?   Oswald Chambers quote ... "We have to pray with our eyes on God, not the difficulties".  

The rain came during the night or at least I think that's what I heard <laughing>.  It must have because this morning when I woke up at 4:57am, Tootie had moved from her usual sleeping spot over across my body to the other side.  For some reason she does that when it rains or storms.  I vaguely remember hearing a noise that sounded like rain but I do not remember hearing any thunder or seeing any -more- flashes of light.  She's still all cuddled up on my bed covered by her little pink baby blanket ... snoring ... as I type this post.  Of course she is laying right in front of the stand fan that blows on my face at night ... so she's probably a little chilly.

I hope you have had a good weekend.  I have.  I enjoy my time off immensely.  I have a little less than three years until I can retire and I look forward to that day.

Blessed and praying blessings for you today.

genam44@charter.net

Finding the 'Reset' Button in Our Lives

Every morning when I get up, I look at the day ahead as a clean slate.  I try not to take yesterdays upheavals into my new day and I believe I do a good job at it.  I know that I am blessed despite the agitations and aggravations that come along.  However, I do not believe everyone gets it ... the 'it' being life.  Not everyone gets that in a blink of an eye we can be erased from this life like one swipe of the eraser on a chalk board.

I am speaking from my heart this morning.  I see things happening at in the email and texting world that just are not indicative of nice communication.  No, I do not live in a fairy tale world where I think everything is rainbows and lollipops all the time.  However, I do know that rude emails and mean/rude phone calls are not the way to handle frustrations.  I think we can all step back and ponder on things like ... (1)  Before I send this email with these accusations, is this really the person who has control of this?  (2)  If I were to receive this email knowing that I have no control over a situation, how would I feel/react.  (3) Most important of all ... Is this issue really going to matter in a week, month or year? The impact of a rude phone call or scathing email has lasting affects on a person when the situation is most likely not in the control of the person about to be attacked.

So I think this is where we need to hit the 'reset' button within ourselves and think before we speak, write an email or text.  Step back and think before you act.  Those words in that email, text or spoken word cannot be retracted.  Once they are out there, there is not a reset button or a retraction rope so that is where we need to make sure we hit the 'reset' button before putting the words out there.  Proverbs 16:24  Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bone.  My prayer is ... Lord, let my words be sweet as honey to everyone.

**************
This past Monday was a holiday for me.  I enjoyed the day just doing this and that.  About 3:00pm I was sitting in my recliner which sits in my den where I can see out my front door.  I was watching something on TV and saw an older Suburban pull up in front of my sister's house across the street.  A guy got out and then the Suburban backed up down the street.  I watched this guy as he went to her front door and rang the door bell and knocked on the door.  Of course there was no answer and he turned and headed down the side walk.  I got up out of my chair and stepped out on my front porch and yelled  ... Can I help you with something?  He replied ... Oh we were just in the neighborhood selling fruits and vegetables.  The immediate response in my mind ... RIGHT!  I yelled back ... We are not interested.  Then the Suburban pulls up and the guy gets in the car and they speed off.  Well being the Ms. Kravitz that I am ... I called the police.  Within two minutes police cars were swarming our street and area.  Bonnie came about 3:45pm to leave Braxton and as I went out to get him, an officer pulled up in front of the house next door to me.  I walked over and told him that I was the person who called in and explained to him what had happened, gave him a description of the guy, told him there was a guy driving the Suburban and there was a lady in the front passenger side, windows were down and how they sped off down my street and turned north at the corner. (NOTE: I am very observant.)   Turns out that I was not the only person to call in on these people.  The officer told me that as he was getting out of his car, he had heard there was a license plate turned in.  Police continued driving up and down our street and in the area that afternoon.  We have a "neighborhood watch" sign at each end of our street and we had one meeting years ago but nothing since.  There are several homes around mine that have retired folks who are home most of the time during the day.  I just hope they come out and look around during the day to see if anything looks strange.  When I was home after surgery and during chemo, I always made an effort to go out and check on any happenings on our street.

I talked about my flu and pneumonia vaccinations that I got on Wednesday and how sore my arm got ... OUCH!  Last night when I got out of the shower, I looked and I had red whelps all over the upper portion of my arm that I got the shots.  The whelps didn't itch but in an attempt to keep the rash from getting worse, I took a Benadryl (Wal-Dryl actually ... Walgreens brand).  One Benadryl knocked me out like a fallen log.  At 12:37am (just after midnight) I was hearing a buzzing noise and realized it was my cell phone on my night stand.  I looked at it and it was a BLOCKED call ... ugghhh!  I didn't answer but when I turned over to go back to sleep, I could see flashing lights.  OK, so admission here, I don't know that I wasn't .... ugggh ugghhh ... hallucinating.  I even sat up thinking I was going nuts (no comment... <smile>).  Needless to say, I slept very well last night, had a Benadryl hangover this morning ... now gone ... and the rash is still there.  The good in all this ... I'm vaccinated and the rash doesn't itch.  Praise the Lord.

I guess that's about it for this Friday morning.  While I only worked three days this week due to the holiday on Monday and today being a day off ... I am happy to be off.  Sometimes the things I spoke about above wear on a person and we just need a break.  I'm blessed to have the job that I have and my prayer is that others realize this as well.  Remember, pray before you speak or send that email.

Blessed and praying blessings for you today.


genam44@charter.net

One Year ...

Today I went to The Center for my one year check-up. The year anniversary is on the day I became cancer free which is my mastectomy date and is actually October 18 so give or take a few days, I'm there. I got my blood drawn ... OUCH! I forgot how bad it hurts to be stuck. The blood draw lady hit the vein the first time ... I was praying by the way ... she had no doubt that she would hit it, I, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. Praise the Lord she did. Then it was off to Dr. Young's waiting room until time for my appointment. I was told they had moved me to see Gayla instead of Helena and I was upset about that. Don't judge me about being a baby unless you have sat where I'm sitting. I wanted to see Helena ... today was a big day and she has taken care of me now for a full year. As it turned out, I was able to see my precious Helena.

She came in the room and we did our wonderful hugs that we do and I cried. I cried because I was scared. I had been introduced to a two new words during the blood draw process ... the words are ... tumor markers. Tumor markers are what they look at in my blood reports and I think if these specific markers are elevated it could mean there is problems somewhere in my body ... like more cancer. I will have to read up on tumor markers in order to educate anyone else.  I was scared. Scared of what I don't know. Scared that the tumor markers would come back showing something was amiss in my body. Helena was so sweet and kind and she sat almost knee to knee with me and we talked and I felt the panicky scarey feeling subside. I know this is all part of my further observation for at least the next five years but doesn't take the scarey away. I cried out to God to please let everything be OK. Helena assured me that she would call me when she got the results back for that test.

On the other blood work note, it was all great she said. She checked me over and felt of things like my liver and spleen (I think) and did the usual chest check (there are no breasts so it's not a breast check anymore). She told me something that I wasn't doing ... checking along my scar line. I had her feel of some soft tissue on my right side that has kinda just developed. We believe the tightly pulled skin and tissue is loosening up a bit across my scar area. I must say that area has been extremely tight and I'm happy about the loosening. I left the office with two new words and a calmer soul and heart than when I first heard those words ... tumor markers.

I went upstairs after checking out and got my flu and pneumonia shot. My right arm is pretty dag gone sore at this point. OUCH! ... it didn't hurt when I got the shots. After that ,,, away I went back to work. Unless something shows up in the tumor marker blood work, I don't have to go back until January 2, 2013. My faith tells me to be still and that I'm OK. The word colonoscopy was mentioned in my time with Helena. It was something I had already been thinking about so tomorrow I'll call that doctor (I had one at the age of 50) and see when he said I should come back.

I don't know if anyone out there watches the show Parenthood ... it airs on Tuesday nights here in my area. One of the ladies was diagnosed with breast cancer and each week there have been little snippits of what's going on with her. Her name is Kristina and she plays a great role in this show. I have often spoke about how terribly hard it was for me to tell my family that I had breast cancer. As I watched the show last night, Kristina nailed it when she told her family ... I've included the video clip from the show. It brings tears to my eyes to watch her and to remember that difficult day in my life. Take about 3 minutes and watch ...

Since Women of Faith weekend I have not been able to get to church so today I started catching up on the sermons. Pastor Robert is doing a series on prayer. Oh my goodness ... did I ever need the first one. I am including the link in case you have about 30 minutes after you watch the short clip from Parenthood. I know you will get something out of it ... I sure did! http://gatewaypeople.com/sermons/147411

I pray things are going well in your world. Around here things are great. My grand babies are growing and talking and REPEATING things they hear. They are the apples of this ole Grammy's eye.

Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

 Blessed and praying blessings for you today.

genam44@charter.net

God is Great, God is Good ...

Just a quick little post ...

Last night we were sitting at the dinner table.  My sister had cooked and brought the food over.  Madelyn was sitting in her "booster" seat at the big table instead of in her high chair across the table from me.  She was wound up tighter than a 10 day clock.  Toward the end of her eating, she did something and Alicia was getting on to her and Madelyn looked at me and made some noises with her mouth with a funny little face and was totaling ignoring her Mother.  It was all I could do not to burst out laughing so I ducked my head and was laughing so hard I was crying ... and then I just broke out with .... God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for this food.  Needless to say ... Alicia and my sister lost it then.  I am so blessed with these precious little ones and all the special moments in life.

Blessings!  



genam44@charter.net

I Blinked ...

... and she grew up.  My oldest daughter turned 30 this past week.  I must tell you that no matter how old my girls get, they will always be my babies.  I see them as the women they are and am so proud of them.  But there are many times I look at them and I see them as the little red, squiggly babies from yesteryear. I would like to offer some tips for new Moms... those days that you think you can't stand any more fussing and fighting or the little ones get into things they shouldn't or the newborn cries incessantly  ... keep your patience in check and remember ... don't blink too long because you will miss all the fun that is in store for you while raising and helping to mold their little lives.  God blessed and trusted me with my girls and allowed me to be their Mom ... I pray that I made a positive difference in their lives.

At the end of my work day on Monday, I was having some sinus drainage and of course didn't think much about it.  Tuesday I was talking to my brother on the way to work and he told me I should be taking something to stop the drainage or it would get worse.  I told him I didn't want to because at least I didn't have a sinus headache.  By the end of the work day Tuesday, my voice was beginning to leave.  Wednesday morning I was only at a whisper.  By the end of the day Wednesday, I was running a low grade temp and my throat burned like it had fire in it.  Thursday morning I called and made a doctor appointment.  Ended up with the beginning of upper respiratory and sinus infection ... and another round of thrush.  That was probably the burning in my throat.  After taking two days of the antibiotics and two days of the thrush medicine, I'm feeling much better.  Voice still comes and goes ... some like that ... I don't.  I like to talk and be heard.  When you don't have a voice, no one wants to talk to you.  <smile>

The weather this fine Saturday morning is cool and rather breezy.  It's truly beginning to feel like fall.  Last Sunday I decorated the front porch and in the house (a little).  I love this time of year ... my favorite time of year actually.  And right around the corner is Christmas.  I have bought one gift already and plan to get most of my shopping done well in advance so I can enjoy the season in a more relaxed pace.

I continue to encourage every woman (and man) I know to do self breast exams and ladies to get their yearly mammogram.  It is so important and you will find peace once your finished.

Although there was a slight glitch in my week with the sinus/upper respiratory stuff, I continue to find much joy in life.  Things from yesteryear that I took for granted, I now see with different eyes.  The joy I have in my life now is amazing.

J - Jesus first.
O - Others second
Y - Yourself last.

1 Chronicles 16:27  Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy are in his dwelling place.  

Blessed and sending blessings to you today.  This day ... the day that the Lord has made.
genam44@charter.net

October - Breast Cancer Awareness Month

1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. People ask me early on after my diagnosis ... Were you scared when you were diagnosed? ... Yes, I was scared to death but now I would be MORE scared not to have known. Breast cancer is not a death sentence, it's a detour on the road of our life. Get the girls checked ... no insurance, let me know. I can get you a voucher for a free mammogram. Scared to go alone, let me know. I'll go with you and hold your hand. Get 'em checked ... do NOT wait. 

Blessed and praying blessings for all.

gkmorrison12@gmail.com