It is times like these when I do not feel well, the fever takes over my body and there is nothing that I can do about it that frustration and even tears set in. Fever makes me feel so terrible and I always know when it has come back up. Yesterday proved to be probably one of the most difficult days I have had since beginning chemo. The fever was rising slowly but surely. I called the Center and spoke to Amber, the nurse who had taken care of me the day before and reported the rising temp. She said she would check with Helena, nurse practitioner, and get back with me. Around noon she called me back and waited on the phone while I took my temp again. It was down a little from 100.3 to 99.9. I had begun having extreme pain and achiness in my bones, joints, insides, muscles, everywhere. The pain was unbelievable and almost unbearable. Amber told me that Helena said from my blood work on Wednesday there was no infection in my body but she felt the pain and fever that I was having was caused from the Neulasta shot that I get on Tuesday after my chemo. The Neulasta shot helps raise my white blood cells. At this point all I could do was take my Tylenol and try to get comfortable. I have had some people tell me to take Claritin (allergy med) for the pain from the Neulasta. So what the heck, I took one yesterday afternoon. The pain got so bad, I could no longer sit up. I had to lay down to get comfortable. After an hour or so after taking the Claritin, the pain subsided some and I was able to move again.
I went to bed about 6:30pm just to get comfortable again. My fever continued throughout the night. I wake up when my fever comes up because it makes me feel so cruddy. Just getting out of bed is a feat but I made myself get up and take my temp. I record everything during times like these because there is no way to remember all of it. At 2:0am I took my temp for the last time during the night and it had gone to 101.3. Yucky does not even describe how I felt. Two more Tylenol and back to bed. When I got up at 7:00am, my temp was down to 99.9, two more Tylenol and a bite of breakfast and coffee made me a feel better.
As I continue to read about the drugs involved in my treatment, I learn more and more things. I guess I'm the poster child for the side affects of these drugs because I seem to be finding most of them ... AND trust me it is NOT because I am looking for them. I often wonder if the drugs build up in your system over the course of your chemo and then all these things start happening. I do not think that I've had all these things happen every time.
Anyway feeling bad combined with the frustration of wanting to feel good brought on the tears. I do not want to cry because most of the time that makes me feel worse but this morning the tears flowed when I was talking to my sister. I guess sometimes a girl just needs to cry. My faith tells me that I will feel better and I keep looking up at the mountain knowing that I have only two more chemo treatments.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support. I know I will get through these 'valley' days and come out on the other side perfectly OK.
Blessed and sending you many blessings!
genam44@charter.net
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