Praising the Lord

My praise report starts out this morning with the appreciation for The Center and the class I attended on Friday.  It was the Look Good Feel Better class and it was so informative.  Makeup tips I had forgotten.  I've been in Mary Kay for 13 years and all the things I learned early on eventually just slip right out of your mind over time.  Alice, the cosmetologist offered great reminders for me and tips for all of us ladies who were either going through chemo or getting ready to go through chemo.  We had a wonderful homemade soup and salad lunch prepared by Caroline, a survivor and volunteer at The Center.  We also got a lesson on how to take a T-shirt and cut the bottom off and make a really cute head cover that can be embellished with a scarf or pins.  Here's a few pictures that I took with my iPhone of the T-shirt head cover process.

First you cut the bottom off of a large T-shirt.

                                                     Then you drape the T-shirt over your head.

                                            Then you  start twisting outwards the remainder of the T-shirt. 

Above is what it looks like twisted.  You criss-cross those those strains of twisted T-shirt.

You then take the twisted part and make a halo over your head.

And this is what it looks like when finished.  You can barely see the halo part but you can weave a scarf in there or embellish with cute bling. 

This class was absolutely priceless for all of us.  I'm so thankful for the opportunities that have come forth in the last several years for cancer patients and the need for support. 

My port is healing and it is taking some getting adjusted to as far as being where it is and of course the soreness hasn't helped. The bruising is turning yellow so that's a good sign of healing.  There is no redness or anything that looks like infection.  I did however have a bad reaction to the antibiotics they put me on.  It was Keflex and it tore my stomach up to the point that after two days ... Friday and Saturday ... and the incredible stomach pain it caused, I didn't take it yesterday but am calling Dr. Bayouth's office this morning to see if they can change it to something I know I can take.  Please pray they can give me something else.

Other things going on.  Oh the drain ... the beloved remaining drain.  I refuse to say anything bad about these drains because they have served a very important purpose in being here for me and my body.  The drainage is down to about 30cc or less per day now for 4 days now.  Praise the Lord and thank you for your prayers.  The drain will come out tomorrow.  I do have mixed emotions about this and ask that you continue to pray that the drainage doesn't build up but rather ask God that my body can handle the fluid and absorb back in to my system.  Below are some pictures I took ... they are not graphic. 

When I came home from the hospital with the four Jackson Pratt drains (referred to as JP drains), all the drains were numbered ... 1 through 4.  There are collection cups for each drain also numbered as 1 through 4.  There are large cups and small cups that would be used to measure the drainage.  Boy was I happy when I got start measuring with the smalls cups as the drainage decreased. 

These are the collection cups. 

This is the collection bulb where the fluid comes down from my body and collects.  This is the bulb without the suction on it. 

With the suction on it, it pulls the fluid out of my body down the drain tube.  I didn't take a picture of my side where the tube is inserted.  It's just a round disk around the tube where it is inserted in my body, a piece of gauze underneath that because I've had leakage issues and a Tegaderm, clear adhesive patch that covers all that.   

I safety pin the suction bulb to my shorts, jeans or pjs to function daily.  I have a lanyard that I hook it to around my neck when I shower.  It's all a process and takes me a little longer to do things like shower and ready myself for bed or to get dressed in the mornings. 

When these drains are removed, the nurse cuts the sutures that are holding it in my side and she tells me to take some deep breaths and she starts pulling.  Here's a good description of what it feels like when the drain is pulled out.  (More info below as to where I got this description). 

I had been under anestheisa when the drains were put in, but unfortunately I was not when Gerry began pulling.  He grabbed the end of the first tube with both hands, grinned, then ran toward the back door.  The scene reminded me of pulling a tooth with a string tied to a doorknob -- once the door is pushed, there's no going back.

When Gerry yanked out the first drain, it felt like a rottweiler had grabbed the end of a garden hose that happened to be an anchored under my skin with barbed fishing hooks, then had taken off after a squirrel.  I felt "a little pressure," as we doctors love to say. 

Yep, this pretty much describes how it feels to have drains removed but I would like to add, the barbed fishing hook is blazing red hot.  When the drain is being pulled out, it burns like there is a fire in my body ... the very tender part of my body.  I know that it has to be done, I'm asking you to pray that the part of the drain that has been in my body for four weeks hasn't decided to take up residence and started growing in my underarm where my lymph nodes used to be. 

Now for the quote I used above in italics.  A well known gynocologist in Fort Worth, Dr. Alan Johns, found himself with breast cancer in 1998.  His book, The Lump, is Dr. Johns journey through breast cancer as a a male.  His journey is amazingly similar to my journey and probably most everyone who has walked this breast cancer journey.  I believe the proceeds from this book benefits the Joan Katz Breast Center at Baylor-All Saints Hospital.  The book made me cry at times but for the most part it was very humorous.  Breast cancer sucks were his words and I have to agree with him. 

I believe I have caught up on everything since Friday.  I continue to feel better and I continue to Praise the Lord.  I continue to live moment by moment and enjoy the moment I'm in.  I don't think about the next moment because I may not be there.   I challenge you today and every day yet to come to live in the moment and do not worry about the future. 

A quick little story about yesterday ... my dryer went out.  Yep, just went kaput!  I think back as to how old this dryer is and if my memory recalls, we (my ex-hubby and I) bought this dryer after we had Alicia, my oldest daughter who is 29.  It came from Sears and it has been a great dryer.  Now when the dryer went kaput yesterday, I could have fretted and worried and blah blah blah ... oh woo is me ... sort of thing but I didn't.  I threw the wet towels back in the washer, shut the door and said to myself, "I'll call my beautiful friend, Greta, and ask her if I can borrow her hubby, Bruce, today to come take me to Home Depot and buy a dryer".  Now in the old days ... you know those days before breast cancer, I would have fretted my head off.  Not any more.  My belief is that stress caused my cancer and I will no longer allow stress in my life. 

So today I leave you with the following scripture to aid you with not stressing ....

Matthew 6:26  (NIV)

²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

YES, we are so much more valuable to God than the birds in the air.  He will get us through any and everything that comes along in our lives.  He rejoices when we rejoice and He weeps when we weep.  He picks us up everytime we fall down, He walks beside us in the dark valleys and He protects us.  He loves us more than any of us can imagine.  Thank you Father for walking with me today and every day protecting me and loving me even when I am so unlovable. 

Blessings to all on this magnificent Monday.
Gena

More Updates

My praise report begins this morning with an early morning empty of my remaining drain.  It was down to 7.5cc this morning a 5:15am.  The power of prayer is amazing.  Also on Wednesday, I began being able to move my left arm a little more.  It's healing and I am Praising the Lord.  While I know the drain will come out next Tuesday regardless of the drainage, I just want the drainage to be down as much as possible.  I continue to ask for your prayers.  Pray that the drainage continues to decrease.  All the prayer is working.  God has shown His majestic miracles just this week with my left arm movement and the slow down on the drainage. 

Yesterday I had outpatient surgery to put my chemo port in by my right collar bone.  I woke yesterday with a headache after not sleeping well the night before.  My friend, Alverna, picked me up at 5:45am so we could be at the hospital at 6:30 for check in.  The surgery was scheduled for 8:30am, it ran a little late due to an in hospital emergency surgery by my surgeon.  Once I was taken in to the preparation area for surgery, the IV was started and they gave me a shot of morphine for my headache.  Morphine through an IV works really quick for a headache but while it's going through your body, you all of a sudden feel like you're having a heart attack with the heaviness that washes over your entire body.  That feeling only lasted a short time and then the headache went away. 

They continued prepping me for the surgery and I talked to the anesthesiologist about not putting me way under but just a twilight sleep.  He said that is what he would do and then Dr. Bayouth, my surgeon, would deaden my shoulder to perform the surgery.  Dr. Bayouth had told me the day before when I talked to him that I would feel like someone had punched me in the shoulder, he didn't say it would feel like they hit me with a baseball bat.  <smile> 

I only remember getting to the operating room and moving over to the operating table and I was out.  I was wide awake when we got in there, just like the day that I had my 'breast reduction' but then out like a light.  I think there must be some kind of sleeping air in the OR for the patient.  I do not remember coming out of surgery or being in recovery talking to Alverna.  I just woke up in my room in the outpatient area. 

I had the sweetest nurse, Selena.  She was definitely fulfilling her calling to be a nurse.  She went way beyond the call of duty for me and I thanked God for her.  She got me anything I wanted and right before she was going to wheel chair me out to the car, she gave me three additional dressings for my drain.  I wish Ms. Selena all the best that God has to offer.

I got sick at my stomach by the time we got back home and lost all the Sprite and crackers I had after surgery.  I'm not sure if it was because of being the second surgery in three weeks or if the morphine made me sick or just what.  I was able to keep soup and Sprite down about 2:00pm and able to eat a bite of dinner with my girls.  Bonnie came over and made dinner and it was so good.  After she left, I layed on the couch and slept until time to go to bed. 

This morning I'm up and moving slow but definitely moving.  My right shoulder is sore but tolerable.  I know that the more I move it, the sooner the soreness and bruising will go away.  I have antibiotics to take for five days to keep my body from rejecting the port.  PRAYER REQUEST:  Pray that this area heals and the antibiotics keeps any infection of rejection away.  

God continues to walk with me and hold me up when I feel like I just can't keep moving.  He continues to carry me.  He is my awesome Father and for that I am eternally grateful. 

Today I have my Look Better Feel Good class at The Center.  I'm happy that I feel like going because this class teaches you how to do things to make yourself feel better while going through chemo.  I feel so blessed to be a part of such a wonderful Center that wants to help people get through the difficult times of cancer and treatment and it's all free.  I plan to definitely give back to The Center once I get through my treatments. 

Psalm 103:1-3 Bless the Lord, Oh my soul: and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits-- Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.
I think about where I was on September 15, 2011, the day I found out my breast cancer diagnosis and I think about where I am today.  With the love of God, prayers and great support from all my family and friends, I have moved from that dark place of the scarey unknown to the light and hope of living a very long and productive life.  For all ... I am so very grateful and thankful. 

Blessings!
Gena

Post # 2 --- Praising the Lord and Continue to Pray

Tonight at 7:00pm when I emptied my drain after 14 hours of collection there was only 25cc.  Praise the Lord.  This morning it was less that 15cc but more than 10cc so I calculated 11cc.  That makes a total of 36cc.  I believe in the power of prayer and ask that you continue to pray that the drainage continues to slow down. 

Thank you so much.  I appreciate all your prayers and I know God is hearing each and every one of them.

Blessings.
Gena

Praise and Continue Prayer

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS ... PLEASE CONTINUE.  This morning when I emptied my remaining drain, there was less than 15cc in it.  I calculated 11cc ... a little more than 10cc but less than 15cc.  PRAISE THE LORD. 

I survived the migraine yesterday.  It wasn't such a terribly bad one but it just wouldn't go away.  I ended up after my appointment with the nurse at the surgeon's office and breakfast with my friend, Alverna, I came home and put my pj's back on and took a nap.  When I woke up, the migraine was pretty much gone.  That is a blessing ... a big blessing.

Today I had two appointments at The Center.  One with the Radiation Oncologist and the other with a different surgeon who will putting in my port.  As it turns out, the Radiation Oncologist suggested 30 radiation treatments on the left side due to the cancer having gotten in my sentinel node and also will radiate two other areas of nodes as well as my chest wall where the largest tumor was.  Radiation will follow chemo after about a month.  It will be every day ... Monday through Friday for 30 treatments.  To me this is another 'insurance type policy' to kill any cancer cells that remain in the area.  Zap those puppies out of there.  Side effects of radiation can be fatigue and after several treatments a sunburn type affect.  I'm not concerned about radiation. 

Before I met with the surgeon about the port, his medical assistant came in and explained the procedure, showed me the port, told me the route the little line will follow to get in a major vein.  She explained how it would look under my skin and there will be a little knot that can be seen under my skin.  After her explanation, the surgeon, Dr. Bayouth came in and ask me if I had any questions, concerns, etc.  Now Dr. Bayouth does many of these ports there in The Center by just numbing people's chest area and putting the port in while they are awake.  I told him that procedure would not be working for me.  I told him I would like to be put just in a twilight zone so I don't know what is going on ... you know like, "Ok, Ms. Morrison we will begin by making a small incision here in your chest and once that is open, I will be poking around the area by your collar bone with a needle to see if I can get under it ....." .... WAIT ... NO thank you.  Just knock me out.  I do not need to know the route you are taking or how many times you poked my collar bone trying to get under it until you have finished and I wake up.  <laughing>  One thing that made me feel good was he said he would want to be put to sleep too.  OH ... and that is scheduled as outpatient surgery tomorrow at Baylor-All Saints at 8:30am.  The procedure takes about 30 minutes, I should wake up and be able to be home before noon at which time I plan to have some of my home made chicken and dumplings. 

It was 12:15pm before we got out of The Center.  I had ask my friend, Alverna, to take me to the grocery store after the doctor appointments so I could get some produce so we head to the grocery store.  My favorite grocery in Colleyville, Market Street.  We had a bite of lunch at one of their many food places ... I indulged in a baked potato kinda loaded and it was terrific.  After that, we grabbed a couple of baskets and picked up a few groceries. 

I got stuff to make homemade soup and chicken and dumplings and lots of fresh organic produce.  I am making chicken and dumplings for dinner tonight.  It's the perfect weather for something of this nature.  Yummo!  So this has been my day and it's been a good day.

Please continue to pray for the drain to keep slowing down and add my outpatient surgery tomorrow to put in the port to your prayers.  Dr. Bayouth told me this would be the easiest thing that I would do in this whole journey.  So I pray believing and I walk in faith that all is well.  The drain will slow down and the port going in is moving me on down this path of the journey I'm on. 

I hope this finds you all well and good.  Stay healthy, stay active and do not abuse your body.  It belongs to God. 

Blessings for this terrific Thursday.
Gena

Update

Mark 11:24   Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Today was another visit to the surgeon for drain removal OR not removal as is the case.  My sweet nurse, Marilyn, was all ready to remove it until I told her that it was still over 30 cc in a 24 hour period.  She looked at my record log and said we should not take it out.  I knew that was going to happen so I wasn't surprised.  She explained if she took it out how the fluid would/could form a pocket and have to be needle drained.  I said, "no, thank you.  I'm ok with keeping this drain.  But how long"?  I ask her if my body was going to think it was a permanent fixture and start growing on to the tube part that is inside.  She said no.  I ask her how long a person can keep a drain in them.  She said the most they leave them is a month so I have apointment next Tuesday to remove the drain.  I told her that it was leaking out the top where the drain was inserted in my body.  She explained to me that the drain part that is in my body has little pin holes and sometimes the holes get clogged and it causes the fluid to back up and come out the insertion point.  She redressed it, and my friend, Alverna and I walked up to the nurse navigator office in Baylor-All Saints Hospital to get some more supplies for redressing it here at my house.  They were running low but we plan to go back on Friday when we are over that way to get a few more supplies just in case I need them over the weekend.  The supplies are very expensive for this dressing.  I know this because I had to buy some from the Glenview
 pharmacy.  The Tegaderm, clear tape like patch that goes over the drain was $30 for 10.  The disk that support the drain are $50 for 10.  Making a quick trip by there to get supplies ... literally priceless.

Then we got back to the car and decided we were hungry and went and had breakfast at 10:45 at the Paris Coffee Shop.  It was so good ... my eyes were bigger than my stomach but that's ok.  I brought two biscuits home with me for breakfast tomorrow. 

I woke and have had a migraine all day and it won't go away.  I am going to close the blinds and rest this afternoon.   

PRAYER REQUEST:
Pray that the amount of fluid reduces in this next week.  I really don't want or need any complications. 
Pray that this migraine stops.

PRAISE:
This is just a drain and not a colostomy bag.  *** See if you look around you can find things to be thankful for.
I am doing very well in the healing and getting around. 
That God is still walking beside and has never left my side.

Blessings for this wonderful cloudy Tuesday.
Gena 

Blessings Abound

Numbers 6:24-26   "The LORD bless you and keep you;the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

God continues to bless me and my family so much.  He continues to strengthen me every day and never leaves my side.  He is allowing my body to heal at just the rate it is supposed to and when I get discouraged with my remaining drain, He pulls me through.  My body seems to be ridding itself of some type of white tissue (maybe it's arm pit fat <smile>) through this drain.  As this white stuff is exiting my body through the drain, it clogs it up and the lymphatic fluid starts coming out of the spot where the drain is inserted in my side.  Nothing hurts but it is yucky when my shirt gets wet from the fluid.  My sister has changed the dressing on the drain twice this weekend due to clogs.  I am going back tomorrow to the surgeon to see about getting the drain removed but I doubt it will be happening as it is still draining way over 30 cc in a 24 hour period.  And to tell you the truth, I don't know that I want them to take it out until it stops draining so much.  That fluid has to go somewhere and while the doctor says your body will begin absorbing it, I guess I get a  little skeptical about what if it doesn't.  Then it will pool in my arm pit and under my arm pit.  Nope, I reckon I'm ok with keeping the drain until it slows down on the drainage.

Friday was a good day with two appointments at The Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders aka The Center.  I had my echocardiogram at 1:30 so the doctors could see that my heart functions are good to ensure it can handle the chemo.  When they get my port in, it will run directly into my heart which will be placed on the right side of my chest.  The chemo will be administered in this port which goes right in to my heart.  Now I gotta tell you that when my surgeon told me last week that the port goes in the artery or vein that goes straight in to my heart, I got scared.  You know ... not only are they injecting me with harsh drugs to kill any loose gun cancer cells but they are putting it right in my heart which is kinda scarey.  Dr. Chow immediately said not to worry about that so I shut down my run away mind and put my trust in God and my doctors.  Anyway, the guy that was doing my echo told me as he was leaving the room for me to put that little white paper cape on and before he left he said ... "Take your shirt and bra off and put the cape on".  REALLY ... take my bra off ... do I look like I need a bra?  <LAUGH> 

After that appointment, my wonderful friend, Alverna, and I waited until time for the chemo education class.  That appointment was to start at 3:00 but we began at 2:45 watching a little informational video and then one the chemo nurses, Lydia, came in to give me in depth detail about chemo and the drugs that I will be taking.  I will try to give you a shortened version of what we were told.  Chemo education classes usually last an hour and we were talking (or listening) to Lydia for two hours. 

My chemo is scheduled to begin on Monday, November 28.  On Sunday, November 27 I begin taking one of the anti-nausea medications called Decadron.  Lydia gave me a schedule on a calendar for me with medications that I take prior to chemo and after chemo.  Decadron begins on Sunday and she says to take my first one at 2:00am Sunday morning and again at 2:00pm Sunday afternoon.  Side affects of this handy dandy med is it causes insomnia.  Great ... you want me to wake up and take a med to prevent nausea but stay awake the rest of the night.  <laughing>  The reason for this schedule is so that the 2:00pm dose is at least 6 hours before bed time but wait, the schedule to take the next one is at 2:00am Monday morning and 2:00pm Monday afternoon.  This med is taken for three days. 

On Monday, November 28 my chemo appointment is scheduled to begin at 11:00am.  I have to get to The Center at 10:30am to check in at the front desk, go up to the chemo room for blood draw, back downstairs to see my Oncologist or her nurse practitioner, Helena, then back upstairs to begin chemo. 
Oh and by the way, the prisoners come to take chemo on Monday's also and there are armed guards who guard them while they are there.  And they get to sit in the area that I was looking forward to getting to sit. <smile>

Once the chemo begins, I will be given Aloxi which is an anti-nausea med and Benadryl and Emend, another anti-nausea med and another dose of Decadron all before the harsh drugs begin.  All of this is administered in my port which <remember> is going straight in to my heart. Remember, Lydia, the chemo nurse, she has a specific order she administers the chemo (I hope I get her every time but there are two other chemo nurses and one of them does the same order as Lydia). 

Lydia's order of chemo drugs is - Adriamycin (Doxorubicin) aka Red Devil.  The Adriamycin takes 10 minutes to drip in through the port.  Some side affects of Adriamycin are hair loss, low blood count, red urine, nausea, diarrhea and fatigue and oh yes, mouth sores.  So once, the Red Devil is finished dripping into my system, next comes Taxotere.  Taxotere has pretty much the same side affects as the Red Devil with flu-like symptoms and muscle and joint pain and histamine issues.  Something I found interesting about Taxotere is it is made from the bark of the Pacific Yew tree.  Here's a little more information I found about Taxotere.  http://www.chemocare.com/bio/taxotere.asp
It takes about an hour for the Taxotere to drip in to my system.  The last chemo drug is Cytoxan.  Some of the side affects of Cytoxan is nasal congestion and sinus headache hence the need for the Benadryl.  The process for the administering of my chemo will take 3-4 hours. The day after the chemo is administered, I will begin on another anti-nausea medication, Zofran, as well as be given a shot of Neulasta.  Neulasta builds your white blood cells back up and is a time released medication which lasts up to 10 days.  The injection can be given in my tummy or arm.  Side affects of Neulasta is bone and joint pain. 

Now when I think about all the things that are to come and all the medications and drugs that will be in my body I could freak out but I'm not.  I will cling to my faith that my body will be able to handle all of this treatment with no problems.  I think what causes me to freak out is I'm a person who doesn't take much medicine.  Except for  my migraines, I have always been pretty healthy and for that, I praise my Lord.  The prescription I take for my migraines is Imitrex and that is only on an as needed basis.  PRAYER REQUEST --  Pray that my body will handle all of this medication and my treatment goes smooth. 

At this time I have three appointments scheduled for this week.  Tuesday is back to Dr. Chow's office for drain check.  When I was in there last Tuesday, they were talking about being able to take the drain out on Tuesday ... we will see.  Thursday I have a consultation appointment with the Radiation Oncolgoist for him to tell me if he feels I will need radiation after chemo.  Friday is my Look Good Feel Better class where they teach you some tricks of the trade on taking care of your skin and make-up during chemo. 

On Saturday we celebrated my grand daughter, Madelyn's first birthday.  This past year has been very eventful and has gone by so fast.  There were so many people who came to celebrate this special little girls birthday and she got lots of new toys and clothes.  Her Mommy made her special day the best that a little princess could have.  Here's a picture of me and the little princess.   She had on a little pink tutu and black leggings and little black shoes. 

And here's my little precious grandson, Braxton.  He stands alone, no steps just yet but that will happen soon enough with both of them. 

I can hold my grandbabies as long as someone puts them in my arms.  I am not supposed to lift anything weighing over 5 lbs.  My right arm is very functional, my left arm not quite as functional but it will get there. 

I continue to plan ahead for lots of things that I know are to come.  Saturday after the party, my sister took me out to Sam Moon's for a little hat/cap embellishment shopping.  I picked up some pins and Christmas pins ... ok to the tune of $100.  It ain't cheap to lose your hair.  It was definintely rest time after that trip and then my sister and I called in a pizza and we endulged in a couple pieces of pizza and chocolate dessert. 

On Sunday my friend from work, Jeff and his wife came by and brought us a brisket that Jeff has smoked.  It was wonderfull getting to meet his wife and visit with them.  The brisket was awesome.  We had made baked beans and potato salad to go with the brisket.  I can't wait until lunch today to have a repeat of last night's dinner. 

While updating my blog, my drain began leaking again so I have mashed and rolled the line where it comes out of my body and emptied the drain.  In a 12 hour period, there was 15 cc which is a good start for this 24 hours.  So I will contend with the leakiness today until my sister gets home to redress. 

That's all I have for today.  All is going well and I am feeling better and getting stronger every day.  I don't think much about what's to come because I know my Father has it all under control so why should I worry.  He's lighting my path and continues to hold my hand and for that I am so thankful. 

Psalm 119:105   Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, And light unto my path.

Blessings for your Monday.
Gena

The Simple Things

You know I don't feel like I've ever taken much in my life for granted.  I have worked very hard all my life and appreciate all God has given me.  I never took good health for granted ... ever.  I've watched people I love dearly struggle with health issues and know the importance of good health.  But a smaller thing that maybe some take for granted but I gotta tell ya ... not me.  MY BED.  I love my bed.  It's comfortable, the feel of the cool crisp sheets, the warmth from the blanket, all my pillows that I cuddle with, the comfort of my little pooch on her side of the bed.  I just love my bed. 

Before my surgery, we prepared for what was to come.  I knew the extent of my surgery would be great.  I knew I would not have full use of my arms for a while.  I have a ladies recliner.  It's smaller in size and fits my small frame.  My sister has a larger leather recliner which reclines further back than mine so we thought it a good idea to switch out recliners for a while.  My son in law and the neighbor, Collin, switched those chairs out the weekend before my surgery.  On October 19 when I got home from the hospital after my surgery, my sister's recliner was perfect for me to lay in.  I could not make it go back nor could I make it go down but as long as someone was here with me, I could get assistance.  So for two weeks after my surgery I was able to use her recliner.  After about a week, I began sleeping on the couch which was also comfortable for me as long as I was propped up with many pillows and had pillows under my knees to keep me from sliding down. 

Last weekend I ask that the recliners be switched back because the big leather recliner was too much for me to handle being here alone during the day and with still somewhat limited arm use, I knew my recliner would just be a better fit.  So once again, my son in law and neighbor swapped the recliners back.  Ahhhhh yes, my sweet little recliner. 

Wednesday after I had the two drains removed, I went ahead and slept on the couch again but sure wanted to sleep in my bed.  I think some of my family was still a little skeptical about this effort but if you know me, you know my determination.  Yesterday my friend, Sue Ann, came out and took me to run a couple of errands and when we got home, she changed the sheets on my bed and I slept in my bed last night. 

Oh the sweet feel of the cool clean crisp sheets.  The stand fan and the ceiling fan blowing right on me.  The cool cuddle of all my pillows.  It was like sleeping in the clouds.  I was even able to lay on my right side where the two drains have been removed.  The puncture holes where the drains were are still bruised and kinda sore but with enough turning and adjusting, I was able to get comfortable on my right side and sleep with the air blowing on me.  Praise the Lord. 

Now this post may seem very menial to you but it's not.  I think sometimes the simple things are taken for granted ... something as simple as being able to sleep in your own bed.  And I'm not talking about just sleeping in your own bed, I'm talking about life in general.  Take that coffee away for a day or two and see how much you miss it.  We take for granted that things like that will always be here and we will always be able to enjoy. 

I challenge you today to stop and think about everything you touch and everything that means something to you as you touch it or use it.  Do you take it for granted that that particular item or drink or food will always be there?  Don't! 

A little update about me.  I was able to run a couple errands tomorrow with my friend, Sue Ann.  Since I can't drive for at least a couple more weeks, it's so good to have friends and family who are willing to take me places ... some times to just get out of the house.  It's not that I am back up to full strength because I know I'm not quite there yet, but I do feel good and my incisions are healing really well.  I pushed for a little more mobility in my left arm yesterday and it was ok.  It was achy last night but took a couple Advil for relief.  With the drain line still in the lymph node area, I was told not to push it too much. 

Wednesday I stood outside to talk to Justin, the yard guy and the wind was blowing pretty hard.  By the time my friend got here to take me to the doctor appointment, my sinus had gone wild and I had a tickle cough which turned into drainage which turned in to full blown laryngitis.  I fought that all day yesterday and have talked outloud to myself this morning and I think it's still here.  Trying to talk with no voice wears me out.  <smile>  Guess I shouldn't talk, huh?  Well that ain't happening!!!

Today I leave you with a full heart and a healing body.  I have my echocardiogram this afternoon and my chemo class.  They have to ensure my heart is ok for chemo and the chemo class teaches you about what to expect while taking chemo.  Knowledge is power ... I'm all about learning everything I can that will help me continue walking this journey.

Mark 11:22-24  ²² “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. ²³ “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. ²⁴ Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Leaving you today ... Belieiving in the power of our almighty God.  He alone has healed my body, my mind and my spirit. 

Blessings,
Gena

Education - Preparation - Praising My Lord

Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I continue to learn more and more about my disease and what is to come as far as my treatment.  This education allows me to prepare.  In the 'olden days' this was was not the case.  I remember back in the early '80's when my Mom was going through lung/brain cancer.  She was diagnosed, she began treatment, she got deathly ill from the treatment all without much information as to what was to come.  Today there are so many wonderful resources that have come in to my path that are helping me in so many ways.  I am so thankful for these resources as they take alot of the anxiousness away.  I'm here to tell you that cancer is scarey ... it just is.  I'm also here to tell you that cancer treatment has come so far since the early '80's.  I praise God for all the resources as I walk this journey. 

I believe that preparation is a must when you're sitting where I am.  My body has gone through a dramatic appearance change.  I mean you don't have your breast removed and think people won't notice. <smile>  But to me that is just an appearance change.  Dr. Young, my oncologist, told me on Monday as far as they (the doctors) are concerned all my cancer has been removed.  Praise the Lord.  Yes, the boobs are gone but so is that mean old cancer.  I opted not to have reconstruction and I am so ok with that.  My greatest desire is for my incisions and lymph node removal area to completely heal.  I gotta tell you that I'm still sore, however, it's getting better every day and I'm praising the Lord for that. 

I will be having an assessment appointment with another surgeon about getting my port surgically put in in the near future.  My surgeon, Dr. Chow has a very busy surgical schedule so she has turned that procedure over to Dr. Bayouth at the Center for Cancer and Blood Disorder (I call it the Center).  She says he puts in a lot of her patients ports.  I was also told that I can't drive for at least two more weeks.  I tried the sad puppy dog face but Dr. Chow said 'no, let's wait'.  Ok, I'm ok with this. 

There continues to be lots of preparation to get ready to begin treatment.  I feel like I have come a long way since my diagnosis and Dr. Chow and I talked about this yesterday.  I'm in a much better place today than I was the day that I walked in her office for the first time.  My blood pressure that day was something like 154/98 and yesterday it was 110/68.  I'm telling you that knowledge is power and calms many many fears.  And we are always afraid of the unknown so I say dig in and get in the know.

After my appointment with Dr. Chow and the removal of my drains yesterday, I ask my friend, Alverna, if we could walk up to the Survivor Gal shop in the hospital (Baylor-All Saints) and check out the wigs and scarves.  It is unavoidable that I will lose all my hair so I might as well prepare now while I can.... right?  Right!  So we walked up and got a treat at Starbuck's celebrating my two drain removal and headed in to the the shop.  There are wigs sitting every where and racks and racks of scarves and cap type head covers.  Looking at the wigs, the first thing I looked at was the style and then the color.  The wigs in the shop are for you to try on and are all orderable in different colors - thank goodness.  Alverna and I picked out 6 wigs to take for me to try on.  I am going to share those pictures so keep in mind ... I was looking for a good style and just discounted the color because they you have to order the wigs.  These are just the 'try on' samples. 

First you have to get rid of your hair ...

Let the fun begin ...

Liz was my personal wig lady ...  She is so sweet and she was having fun too.

Keep in mind it's just the style I was looking at. 

My sister liked this style.  It's ok ...

Next ....  I'm a 'hands on' kinda gal ...

Ummmm ... I don't think so.

Darker color, little different style ...

                                                    Not too bad ... lotta hair in the front though.

Next is the Suze Orman kinda look.  These wigs all have a lot of hair upfront which I do not with my real hair but Liz is a wig sylist and she will fix and detail my wig to me.  The following is my favorite and it felt really good.

                                            Taking a look at the back ................

How about red?  Actually this wig hung really pretty on the manikin ... discounting the color of course.  After I got it on, it didn't hang so good on me.  <giggle>

Another little flippy style ...

Now let's look at alternative head coverings ...

Did not like this covering at all. 

The cap says .... Save the ta tas ... little late for that ... <giggle>

My friend, Alverna, bought me this t-shirt ...  because I am a survivor ...

Thank you for sharing my field trip yesterday.  I hope you enjoyed the trip.  So many great things happened yesterday and I'm so thankful. 

Thankful Thursday ...

Thankful for getting two more drains out yesterday.

Thankful that when I was leaving Dr. Chow's office, I ran into my dear friend, Stephanie, who has walked a much worse cancer journey.  It was a blessing to see her and get a big hug.  Everyone in the office and in the waiting room were sharing in our reunion.  I left her with the words ... We ARE survivors.

Thankful for the opportunity to prepare for what's to come on my journey.

Thankful for women like Liz at Survivor Gal who care enough about us cancer patients to take so much time helping us find a new hair do. 

Thankful for my friend, Alverna, who I met 20 years ago when our daughters started kindergarten.  We have remained friends and actually call each other 'sis'. 

I continue to be so thankful for my understanding and helpful family.  It's not easy for me to go from extremely active to needing so much assistance in my daily routine. 

THANKFUL that God continues walking beside me and lighting my path. 

Today I leave with the words to This Little Light of Mine ringing in my ears  .... 

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE .... 

This Little Light Of Mine Hymn

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Won't let Satan blow it out.
I'm gonna let it shine.
Won't let Satan blow it out.
I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Let it shine til Jesus comes.
I'm gonna let it shine.
Let it shine til Jesus comes.
I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Hide it under a bushel - NO!
I'm gonna let it shine.
Hide it under a bushel - NO!
I'm gonna let it shine, Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Let it shine over the whole wide world,
I'm gonna let it shine.
Let it shine over the whole wide world,
I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Love and blessings to all,

Gena

Stronger by the day ...

After waking up this morning at 4:40am with a migraine, it has now gone.  My drains are emptied and there's a Glory hallelejuh needed .... drain #4 was down to 15 cc this morning.  The other two drains are just now trace amounts of fluid so I know for sure those two drains will be coming out today.  Praise the Lord.  And my sweet surgeon, Dr. Chow, may take drain #4 out too.  She will know what to do and I trust her completely.

I found this graphic today on my friend, Elizabeth's FB page.  She is walking the breast cancer journey and I draw strength from her.  This graphic speaks an important message ...  Walking the breast cancer journey, you have to be strong.  Your body takes a big hit with surgery and then the treatment begins.  Strong ... I walk strong and I walk with my head-up and my chest out (well sorta <smile>).  I AM A SURVIVOR. 

Today, as every day, I praise my awesome Father. 

Blessings.
Gena

Processing

You know I am a processor/thinker/get my ducks in a row kinda gal.  When I am given information I must have some time to process.  I generally get quiet and let my mind go kinda wild and then I grab it and reel it back in.  I think through everything that needs to be done and I put my plan in place (get my ducks in a row - so to speak).  That is what I had to do yesterday after my appointment. 

Yesterday was my follow-up Oncologist appointment with my dear sweet Dr. Young.  I'm telling you that God put this woman in my life and on the path of my breast cancer journey.  First off, her nurse, Fred the Red aka Yvonne comes in to take my vitals (yes, my heart is still ticking and I still have a blood pressure).  Fred is an incredible woman who ain't afraid of nohing.  Fred has a brother and 5 sisters.  Three of Fred's sisters have breast cancer.  Two of them have gone through treatment and the youngest who was just diagnosed at the age of 37 has currently joined the breast cancer journey.  Fred's attitude is and she verablizes this .... "It's not a matter of IF I get breast cancer, it's a matter of WHEN".  Evidently the breast cancer gene is rampent in her family and she is keeping close tabs on her own body as well as walking with her sisters through their journey.  Fred preaches EARLY DETECTION ...  so if you aren't doing those self breast exams ... DO THEM.  If there is a strange nodule or thickening of tissue anywhere in your breast --- GO TO THE DOCTOR. If you're not happy with a possible wait and see diagnosis, ask for a mammogram or sonogram.  Be proactive ... it's your health, it's your life. 

After our visit with Fred, Dr. Young came in with her papers in hand.  She did a look-see at my incisions and felt the areas that she needed to feel which were not my breast because they are missing <smile>.  She checked my range of motion with my arms.  She told me to use my left arm, you know the arm that is sore because of the lymph node removal.  She said not to over do it but to try to use it more.  So that's what I'm doing now.  I'm not forcing movement but I am moving it more.  Lifting it above my shoulder right now does take a little more effort (ok maybe a lot of effort) but it helps with the tightening and pulling that goes along with this type of surgery.  The bright side ---  my right arm is very mobile.  Praise the Lord!

After the physical check-up came time to get down to work on the 'what's to come part' of the appointment.  So what's to come is --- I am scheduled to begin chemo the Monday after Thanksgiving.  Praise the Lord!  I get more time to have Thanksgiving with my family, more time to heal from surgery, get a baby tooth pulled and bridge work started (actually this is a must because the infection in the baby tooth showed up on the PET scan - HELLO).  As I type I just heard back from my dentist office and my appointment is set for November 18 to begin this process.  I still get aggrivated that I'm 55 years old and have baby teeth that all of a sudden last year decided they wanted to start going bad.  This will be my second baby tooth pulled that requires a three tooth permanent bridge AND there's still one more baby tooth.  Hereditary! 

So back to the chemo.  Dr. Young gave me my options for treatment as she showed me statistics for each option.  Down and dirty ... I said all along if offered chemo, I would take it.  Am I a gluten for punishment --- no --- I'm a gluten for life.  If any of those dreadful cancer cells escaped the sentinel lymph node and got in my blood stream, I'm gunning for them.  I will take a six treatment course of chemo, which is a treatment every three weeks which equates to 18 weeks which equates to six months.  By May of 2012, I should be finished with my chemo. I will have a three drug cocktail for my chemo.  Yes, I will lose all my hair but I look at this as allowing me to try new hair styles.  To know me is to know I get a hair style and I keep it for years.  Other side affects can be some fatigue, flu-like symptoms, diarrhea ... you know all the yuckiness of chemo.  While dealing with the side affects, I plan to party as this cocktail kills any free radicals that might be floating around in my body. 

Dr. Young wants me to see the Radiology Oncologist for consultation regarding radiation.  Radiation would occur after the chemo and before the hormone therapy.  Chemo - Radiation (if needed) - Hormone Therapy.  Dr. Young says the cancer in my left breast was not black or white but in the GRAY area.  Go figure - it couldn't play nice and be normal.  Left breast is invasive ductal carcinoma with mucinous present.  That mucinous part is what makes my cancer in the gray zone.  I don't pretend to understand all of this and I am on overload for information so at this point I'm not going to try to figure it out.  I will work to figure this out once I get through where I'm at right now.  So as far as radiation, I'm waiting to get an appointment with the Radiology Oncologist to discuss.  Whether or not I have to have radiation, the last step is at least five years on hormonal therapy.  When you are pre-menopausal, hormonal therapy is putting a woman on hormones to keep her estrogen level up to assist in all areas of her life.  Hormonal therapy for me, is to kill/destroy all the estrogen in my body so that if there is cancer cells floating around, there won't be anything to feed them.  So take that cancer!

As you can imagine I have many apointments scheduled right now.  I go back to the surgeon tomorrow to check on these drains where I just know they will take at least two of the remaining three out and also discuss having a port put infor chemo.  Another minor surgery.  Friday is my echocardiogram and chemo class where you learn what to expect.  Your heart has to be strong enough for chemo and I'm assuming mine is.  I've been going to a cardiologist for several years due to the heart disease in our family.  Praise the Lord I've never had any problems there.  The following Friday is another class on how to deal with body changes once you start chemo and the following Friday is my dentist appointment.  The whole next week is Thanksgiving week and I do not have any appointments.  I will get to cook and enjoy my family including both my nephews who will be home.  Praising the Lord... 

Some additional Praises I am sharing today-
Always always my awesome Father who continues to strengthen my body and my mind as He walks beside me on this journey.  I picture Him and I walking and holding hands as He continues to tell me that I am going to be ok. 

A wonderful team of doctors who have my very best interest at heart.  They treat me as a person and not just a name.  They call me Gena and not Ms. Morrison or Regena.  They want to know me.  They make me their priority when I am in their presence. 

The ability to get up off the couch this morning after sleeping well during the night.  NOTE: I haven't been able to sleep in my bed since surgery because it's too hard to get up and my bed is kinda high off the ground.  Praying after tomorrow's surgeon visit that I will get to sleep in my bed again because I will have less drains or no drains.  Continued improvement in my strength and stamina.  The ability to fix my hair and put my make-up and clothes on.  The ability to empty my own drains.  I have a weak stomach but I am doing this now with absolutely no problems.  Oh yea, last night I didn't have any assistance to shower. 

That my dear sweet family continues to support me and love me even when I am grabby and don't like the way they drive my SUV.  They are strong as they walk their own journey with me through this cancer.  They love me regardless. 

I work with a government agency who has provided me assistance with my job while I'm dealing with so much.  They are my work family. 

Praising God that on those days (like yesterday) when I wasn't sure of my feelings, I walk down to the mailbox to get my mail and rather than it being filled with bills and cancer information, there were beautiful cards from friends who were thoughtful and took the time to buy a card, write a special note to me and mail it.  My heart was lifted after getting the cards.  You know who you are and to you I say ... Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I would like to ask you to pray for some specific things.
Pray that my body continues to heal from the surgery.  Pray that my body will be able to handle the chemo without any problems.  Pray that my tooth issue is resolved and gets fixed with no glitches.  Pray for my family as they continue to walk with me on this journey.  It is not easy for them I know.  Pray for those who may have just received the breast cancer diagnosis.  It's a hard pill to swallow ... trust me. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog today.  I pray you walk away with helpful information and desire to walk with our awesome God.  I read a daily devotional every day and as you can imagine I was a little behind since my surgery day.  I got my devotional book and my Bible last night and I know that God allowed me to wait to read all those daily readings until I was strong and in good frame of mind because He spoke directly to me about so many things.  Below are some verses that I want to share today. 

Psalm 27:14 - Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.  (Special thank you to my friend, Greta, for sharing this scripture)

Jeremiah 29:11-13  'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  'And you will seek me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

Blessings!
Gena

If you get a minute and want to send me an email, please feel free ...
g_morrison12@yahoo.com  Would love to hear from you.