Processing

You know I am a processor/thinker/get my ducks in a row kinda gal.  When I am given information I must have some time to process.  I generally get quiet and let my mind go kinda wild and then I grab it and reel it back in.  I think through everything that needs to be done and I put my plan in place (get my ducks in a row - so to speak).  That is what I had to do yesterday after my appointment. 

Yesterday was my follow-up Oncologist appointment with my dear sweet Dr. Young.  I'm telling you that God put this woman in my life and on the path of my breast cancer journey.  First off, her nurse, Fred the Red aka Yvonne comes in to take my vitals (yes, my heart is still ticking and I still have a blood pressure).  Fred is an incredible woman who ain't afraid of nohing.  Fred has a brother and 5 sisters.  Three of Fred's sisters have breast cancer.  Two of them have gone through treatment and the youngest who was just diagnosed at the age of 37 has currently joined the breast cancer journey.  Fred's attitude is and she verablizes this .... "It's not a matter of IF I get breast cancer, it's a matter of WHEN".  Evidently the breast cancer gene is rampent in her family and she is keeping close tabs on her own body as well as walking with her sisters through their journey.  Fred preaches EARLY DETECTION ...  so if you aren't doing those self breast exams ... DO THEM.  If there is a strange nodule or thickening of tissue anywhere in your breast --- GO TO THE DOCTOR. If you're not happy with a possible wait and see diagnosis, ask for a mammogram or sonogram.  Be proactive ... it's your health, it's your life. 

After our visit with Fred, Dr. Young came in with her papers in hand.  She did a look-see at my incisions and felt the areas that she needed to feel which were not my breast because they are missing <smile>.  She checked my range of motion with my arms.  She told me to use my left arm, you know the arm that is sore because of the lymph node removal.  She said not to over do it but to try to use it more.  So that's what I'm doing now.  I'm not forcing movement but I am moving it more.  Lifting it above my shoulder right now does take a little more effort (ok maybe a lot of effort) but it helps with the tightening and pulling that goes along with this type of surgery.  The bright side ---  my right arm is very mobile.  Praise the Lord!

After the physical check-up came time to get down to work on the 'what's to come part' of the appointment.  So what's to come is --- I am scheduled to begin chemo the Monday after Thanksgiving.  Praise the Lord!  I get more time to have Thanksgiving with my family, more time to heal from surgery, get a baby tooth pulled and bridge work started (actually this is a must because the infection in the baby tooth showed up on the PET scan - HELLO).  As I type I just heard back from my dentist office and my appointment is set for November 18 to begin this process.  I still get aggrivated that I'm 55 years old and have baby teeth that all of a sudden last year decided they wanted to start going bad.  This will be my second baby tooth pulled that requires a three tooth permanent bridge AND there's still one more baby tooth.  Hereditary! 

So back to the chemo.  Dr. Young gave me my options for treatment as she showed me statistics for each option.  Down and dirty ... I said all along if offered chemo, I would take it.  Am I a gluten for punishment --- no --- I'm a gluten for life.  If any of those dreadful cancer cells escaped the sentinel lymph node and got in my blood stream, I'm gunning for them.  I will take a six treatment course of chemo, which is a treatment every three weeks which equates to 18 weeks which equates to six months.  By May of 2012, I should be finished with my chemo. I will have a three drug cocktail for my chemo.  Yes, I will lose all my hair but I look at this as allowing me to try new hair styles.  To know me is to know I get a hair style and I keep it for years.  Other side affects can be some fatigue, flu-like symptoms, diarrhea ... you know all the yuckiness of chemo.  While dealing with the side affects, I plan to party as this cocktail kills any free radicals that might be floating around in my body. 

Dr. Young wants me to see the Radiology Oncologist for consultation regarding radiation.  Radiation would occur after the chemo and before the hormone therapy.  Chemo - Radiation (if needed) - Hormone Therapy.  Dr. Young says the cancer in my left breast was not black or white but in the GRAY area.  Go figure - it couldn't play nice and be normal.  Left breast is invasive ductal carcinoma with mucinous present.  That mucinous part is what makes my cancer in the gray zone.  I don't pretend to understand all of this and I am on overload for information so at this point I'm not going to try to figure it out.  I will work to figure this out once I get through where I'm at right now.  So as far as radiation, I'm waiting to get an appointment with the Radiology Oncologist to discuss.  Whether or not I have to have radiation, the last step is at least five years on hormonal therapy.  When you are pre-menopausal, hormonal therapy is putting a woman on hormones to keep her estrogen level up to assist in all areas of her life.  Hormonal therapy for me, is to kill/destroy all the estrogen in my body so that if there is cancer cells floating around, there won't be anything to feed them.  So take that cancer!

As you can imagine I have many apointments scheduled right now.  I go back to the surgeon tomorrow to check on these drains where I just know they will take at least two of the remaining three out and also discuss having a port put infor chemo.  Another minor surgery.  Friday is my echocardiogram and chemo class where you learn what to expect.  Your heart has to be strong enough for chemo and I'm assuming mine is.  I've been going to a cardiologist for several years due to the heart disease in our family.  Praise the Lord I've never had any problems there.  The following Friday is another class on how to deal with body changes once you start chemo and the following Friday is my dentist appointment.  The whole next week is Thanksgiving week and I do not have any appointments.  I will get to cook and enjoy my family including both my nephews who will be home.  Praising the Lord... 

Some additional Praises I am sharing today-
Always always my awesome Father who continues to strengthen my body and my mind as He walks beside me on this journey.  I picture Him and I walking and holding hands as He continues to tell me that I am going to be ok. 

A wonderful team of doctors who have my very best interest at heart.  They treat me as a person and not just a name.  They call me Gena and not Ms. Morrison or Regena.  They want to know me.  They make me their priority when I am in their presence. 

The ability to get up off the couch this morning after sleeping well during the night.  NOTE: I haven't been able to sleep in my bed since surgery because it's too hard to get up and my bed is kinda high off the ground.  Praying after tomorrow's surgeon visit that I will get to sleep in my bed again because I will have less drains or no drains.  Continued improvement in my strength and stamina.  The ability to fix my hair and put my make-up and clothes on.  The ability to empty my own drains.  I have a weak stomach but I am doing this now with absolutely no problems.  Oh yea, last night I didn't have any assistance to shower. 

That my dear sweet family continues to support me and love me even when I am grabby and don't like the way they drive my SUV.  They are strong as they walk their own journey with me through this cancer.  They love me regardless. 

I work with a government agency who has provided me assistance with my job while I'm dealing with so much.  They are my work family. 

Praising God that on those days (like yesterday) when I wasn't sure of my feelings, I walk down to the mailbox to get my mail and rather than it being filled with bills and cancer information, there were beautiful cards from friends who were thoughtful and took the time to buy a card, write a special note to me and mail it.  My heart was lifted after getting the cards.  You know who you are and to you I say ... Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I would like to ask you to pray for some specific things.
Pray that my body continues to heal from the surgery.  Pray that my body will be able to handle the chemo without any problems.  Pray that my tooth issue is resolved and gets fixed with no glitches.  Pray for my family as they continue to walk with me on this journey.  It is not easy for them I know.  Pray for those who may have just received the breast cancer diagnosis.  It's a hard pill to swallow ... trust me. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog today.  I pray you walk away with helpful information and desire to walk with our awesome God.  I read a daily devotional every day and as you can imagine I was a little behind since my surgery day.  I got my devotional book and my Bible last night and I know that God allowed me to wait to read all those daily readings until I was strong and in good frame of mind because He spoke directly to me about so many things.  Below are some verses that I want to share today. 

Psalm 27:14 - Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.  (Special thank you to my friend, Greta, for sharing this scripture)

Jeremiah 29:11-13  'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  'And you will seek me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

Blessings!
Gena

If you get a minute and want to send me an email, please feel free ...
g_morrison12@yahoo.com  Would love to hear from you.