A Weekly Review --

What a great week it's been.  I worked all week except for my two appointments. Blood count check on Monday and dentist on Thursday.  It was good to be back at work in my office and being able to interact with my coworkers.  I really love what I do for the NWS and when you like what you do, it makes work a better place.  

I had great energy this week and my appetite has been good.  The no-taste and bitterness are still with me but I play like I can taste whatever it is I'm eating.  I try not to complain as I feel that this is a temporary situation and just with me until I finish my chemo.  Alicia, Madelyn and I went to Olive Garden last night for dinner and I had soup and salad and two Sprites (you know my new favorite drink after the Dr. Pepper phase).  I love the Chicken and Gnocchi soup (that's pronounced No-key).  I ate a whole bowl of  salad by myself.  With a little salt on it, I could taste it and it was so good and that soup is divine.  

I have something that has been on mind all week long.  Negativity.  The world we live in can be a very ngative place.  Negativity breeds negativity.  When someone is negative and shares their negative  thoughts with others, it can spread .... just like a cancer.  Negative people who share their negative thoughts with others wants to "rally their troops" or "get others on board with them".  After all it's no fun to be in the negativity boat alone but so much better if you have a whole boat full of people on board with you.

Before I was diagnosed with cancer, I joined those negative troops or I got on that boat of those negative people.  Since my diagnosis, I have not and will not sign up to be one of the negative troopers nor will I get on the boat of negativity.  For years my sister has told me that "people are human and humans will always disappoint us.  Do not put your faith in humans, put your faith in God".  I didn't listen for years until now as I walk  my journey.  I have learned what is really important in this world, I have stop putting my faith in humans because no matter what, I cannot change someone.  Instead my faith is in God.  I was thinking yesterday while walking at work that I will replace the word negativity with the word nativity.  I don't know what you think about when you hear or see the word nativity but I see a baby named Jesus laying in a manger surrounded by his parents, Mary and Joseph.  A light shines about His beautiful head and He brings light into the world of dark (negative).

Yes, this is just a graphic and no, we do not know this is what the birth scene looked like but my FAITH tells me to believe that baby was sent here for me.

I had someone share a negative thought about some of my posts on my blog.  I had to remind myself once again that people are human.  The same day I had two beautiful ladies who are dear friends in my building (J and D) share how  they love everything I write about, they see the humor in my writing and encouraged me to be a writer.  I could have let that one negative comment take me down the negativity road but I chose to cling to the positive remarks from my friends.

My thoughts of yesterday have guided my words today and I will not buy into the negativity any longer but I will cling to the nativity.  Join me and let's make the world a better place with less negativity.  Remember we cannot change humans and the way they are but we change ourselves and share only the positive and be better people.  We have our Lord in Heaven who sees and hears everything ... He is in control and has everything under control.

This week I began thinking about what I looked like before cancer and chemo and what I look like today.  My looks have changed but my heart is still the same.  Come with me now as I walk through my hair changes ....

Before surgery and chemo.  

Once chemo began and after a couple of weeks, my hair began shedding ... not falling out but shedding so my sweet sister-in-law came out and scissored my hair in to a spike.

Spikey, brown and very easy.

After about a week of the spikey cut, I decided I needed to get accustomed to wearing my wigs.  Friday before last, I put on my wig and went to lunch with a friend ... out in public for the first time.  I didn't feel as self conscious as I thought I would.  

Short and auburnish.  I really like it but am always ready to take it off when I get home.

This past week about Wednesday my head got sore and itched.  Those who have walked this journey before me have shared that when your hair begins to fall out, your head will feel different so I was not sure if it was wearing the wig for three days in a row to the office or the chemo taking affect on my hair follicles but I decided to have my girls - if they could do it (it's tough watching your Mom lose her hair) - buzz  my hair off with clippers.  Alicia, Madelyn and I headed to Bonnie and Buddy's house and out the clippers came.  Alicia buzzed it off ... first using a #3 guard and then a #1 guard to get a little closer.  Immediately my head felt so much better.  Soooooo...... 

...... here's my buzzed head ....

The remainder of the little stubs will fall out but for now

this is my hair.  

Thursday when I got ready for work, I wore my wig over my new stubby cut.   My hair is the last thing I put on when getting dressed. And let me share and I know all my lady friends will be jealous (right!) - it takes me about 25 minutes to get completely dressed.  That includes washing and moisturizing my face (very important ladies for everyone even if you are not taking chemo), brushing my teeth, putting on my makeup and getting dressed ... and then putting on my HAIR.  <laughing>  Easy peasy !!!!

Friday morning I woke with a migraine headache and decided I just did not want to wear the wig.  When I have migraines my head feels like it's in a vise and putting that wig on just wasn't doing it for me.  So I got in my hair drawer and pulled out a turban and a little flower embellishment, put that on my head and away I went to work.  

These type head coverings are not half bad. 

Very comfortable especially at work when I talk

on the phone.  

This is my show and tell for this post.  Hair is hair and it will grow back once the chemo is over and I know that.  Once I mourned losing my hair and actually started through the process, it all became easier.  It's not near as bad as I thought it was going to be.  

On another note ... my grandson, Braxton (one year old) is walking.  It is the absolute cutest thing ever.  Bonnie said he just let go and took off one night this past week.  When I can I will get a picture of him toddling along.  Madelyn took three steps in a row last night.  These babies have my heart ... can you tell?  

Praises:

* Good energy, good appetite

* Spending time in the office this past week

* People I work with who help me so much in many different areas

* Family and so many friends

* The life I'm living

Prayer Request:

* My sweet sister, Pat, is very sick with tonsillitis and strep throat

* Headaches that I have been experiencing this past week

* My next round of chemo on Monday

* All those walking this journey just like I am.  

In closing, remember the reason we celebrate Christmas.  We all celebrate with gift giving but remember the greatest gift of all was given by God.  He sent his Son, Jesus, to die on that cross for all of us.  My prayer is that you have accepted that ultimate gift.  

Isaiah 9:6  

⁶ For to us a child is born,
   to us a son is given,
   and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
   Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
   Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.


Blessed and sending you blessings!

gkmorrison12@gmail.com

Work Day 2 ...

I had a busy and very productive day at work today.  After work I had an appointment so I didn't get home until 12 1/2 hours after I left this morning.  I'm tired tonight but it's been a very good day.

My hair is officially falling out.  It's kinda annoying so I plan to find me some clippers tomorrow evening and buzz off as much as possible.  When I was talking to my survivor sister at The Center on Monday (the lady who was just finishing up her last chemo last week), she mentioned that the hair she looked forward to growing back MOST was her nose hair.  NOSE HAIR!  I didn't think about that hair but it all made sense.  For over a week now I couldn't figure out why when my nose would run, it just ran right on out.  HELLO!  When I looked, it all made sense.  There wasn't much getting in the runners way.  <laughing>  Now you may think this is gross but I said I would share everything on this blog.  Who ever thought about nose hair?  Not me.  I continue to learn things on this journey of mine.

I continue to work my arms with hopes that one day I won't have such a pull on the under side muscle on my left arm where the lymph node dissection was done.  I do my windmills and my towel stretches at least twice a day.  This is a slow process (but then again I a type A and want everything to be fixed yesterday).  God continues to work on my patience, doesn't He?  Thank you Lord.

I continue to count my many many blessings.
* I work for an awesome agency who has been and continues to be so supportive.
* I love feeling good and having high energy.
* So thankful for the good blood count report on Monday.
* I was able to walk a mile yesterday and it feels so good to be active.
* My eating has leveled off and while I still need an occasional snack, I am back to a regular three meal a day eating routine.  Good meals too.  I still don't have much taste but at least not everything is bitter right now.
* Thankful for the little stickiness under my left arm where the lymph node dissection was done.  Stickiness means I may be sweating just a tad under that arm and I'm told that is good.  Thank you Lord for the stickiness.
**** So many many things to be thankful for.

Prayer Request:
In the last week I have had two friends share with me that they have women friends who have recently found out they have breast cancer.  Please pray for these ladies as they begin this journey.  I know they are probably scared and the unknown is so hard.  My heart reaches out to them.

Praise:
God is so good to me and I praise Him for all He has done for me.  Seems a mere thank you is not enough but to our awesome Father, it is.

My nephew shared a wonderful blog post from a woman and an A&M football player.
http://mobile.texags.com/Forums/5/Topics/2004780  Please take the take to read this incredible story.  It brought tears to my eyes.

Hoping your Christmas season is going beautiful and you are not overwhelmed with all the commercial but instead putting the focus on the real reason for Christmas.

I am blessed and I send you blessings!


gkmorrison12@gmail.com

Monday Monday ...

This morning found me headed back to the office after not being there since Monday, October 17 ... the day before my surgery.  I was a little overwhelmed with grabbing this and grabbing that ... after all I wasn't going to be where I could go to the kitchen and grab a snack if I needed one.  It all turned out well.  It is good to see everyone and be back even it's for just one week until the next round of chemo.

I had to leave early to get my blood work and am happy to report that the most of the counts are really back up.  While in the lab area, I ran in to the lady who was taking her last chemo treatment last Monday.  She said it all went well with just a smidge of nausea.  Praise the Lord.  We chatted pretty extensively about our hair loss and she enlightened me on several things in the hair loss area.  She was such a pleasure to talk to and in the midst of our conversation, she said she has a three year old.  This tells me she's pretty young and yes, she had breast cancer.  I can only pray that this blog will reach many women and save lives.  You are never too young to have breast cancer.

While I was at the Center, the wig place called and said my altered wig was ready so I was able to run out and get my other wig.  It's very similar to the one pictured below but the hair is straighter and it is not highlighted.  I like both of my wigs very well.  Speaking of hair, I've been told you will be able to tell when you are getting ready to lose your hair because your scalp will feel funny.  I am now reporting that my scalp is feeling funny so I figure the hair loss is just on the horizon.  That's ok ... I'm ready.  I've mourned the hair and now I gotta let it go.

Other than a trip back down to Mexia to the dentist to get my permanent crown, that should be all the appointments I have this week.  Praise the Lord.

I wanted to share a piece I read in the daily devotional.  This spoke volumes to me.  I'm so thankful for my Jesus Calling devotional book that I use.

      LET MY PRESENCE override everything that you experience.  Like a luminous veil of Light, I hover over you and everything around you.  I am training you to stay conscious of Me in each situation you encounter.
      When the patriarch Jacob ran away from his enraged brother, he went to sleep on a stone pillow in a land that seemed desolate.  But after dreaming about heaven and angels and promises of My Presence, he awoke and exclaimed:  "Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it."  His discovery was not only for him but for all who seem Me.  Whenever you feel distant from Me, say: "Surely the Lord is in this place?"  Then, ask Me to give you awareness of My Presence.  This is a prayer that I delight to answer.  


Personally what I got from this message was:  All I have to ask is for God to make me aware once again that He is with me in any place or circumstance that might come up.  He never leaves us, we leave Him.  I'm thankful I have Him to walk beside me during this journey and I know on those days that I just can't make it, He carries me.  Thank you Lord.

Leaving today a little tired and a heart filled with love.
Blessings!

gkmorrison12@gmail.com

Little Extra Post for Friday

Today was a wiggy day for me.  I decided since I know what is to come and I have the wigs I better try to get used to wearing them.  So today I put on my make-up and slid my hair on ... <laughing> ... and TA-DA ... here I am....

The wig is short and sassy and dark in color and really cute.  It's been a great day.

Blessings.

gkmorrison12@gmail.com

Fabulous Friday - Praising My Lord

This has been the most fabulous week.  God has continued to bless me in so many ways.  His love is amazing and as He surrounds me in his loving arms I feel His love and comfort.
Things that have happened this week ....

*  My blood counts were pretty good after the first round of chemo.
*  My energy level has been abounding.
*  I've been able to get a lot work done here in my bubble.
*  I've been with blessed four days in a row with both grandbabies here for dinner.
*  My appetite has calmed back down to pretty much three good meals a day ... and chocolate ice cream at night.  No midnight snacks.  YEA!
*  My weight has come back up to my normal weight.
*  I walked down and up four flights of stairs at the hospital yesterday.
*  I found a wonderful wig store in Hurst where I bought two more wigs that are so cute an comfortable and very affordable.  (Pictures to come)
*  I faced the 'hair demon' and my sweet sis-in-law came and cut my hair really short. By the way, it's still hanging on. I was told it would let loose by day 15 after chemo.
*  I developed some mouth sores from the chemo but it seems better this morning.
*  Last week after my chemo and not feeling well, I didn't get my left arm stretched as much and this week I've suffered from an extremely tight under arm muscle that has now contracted the muscle that runs down to my wrist.  I am working diligently now to get it stretched back out.
*  Everything I eat is bitter. (chemo)
*  When I was having such an emotional day on Tuesday, and along comes a beautiful flower arrangement of all colors of pink from a dear friend.  Thank you B.  (the pic doesn't do them justice)

*  I weathered a severe stomach bug attack on Wednesday morning.
*  The last two nights I have had uninterrupted sleep.  PRAISING THE LORD for this.
*  I looked out the kitchen window yesterday morning and there was a beautiful gold finch on my feeder.  I love my birds.  These little creatures make me so happy and I love feeding them.
*  I won't go into details but I thank God for the excellent health insurance I have.  They pay for things that I had no idea they would pay for.  PRAISING THE LORD for this wonderful insurance.

It has truly been a wonderful week of good feeling good and good energy.  God has been so good to me and to Him I give all the praise.

Sweet Jarrod spoke to me through some new scripture that his Mom shared with me.

Jarrod verses:
James 1:2-4
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its' perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  
James 1:12
Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

There are so many things that I have to be thankful for ... including the bumps in the road during this journey.  The bumps seem to teach me something new and how or how not to do something.  I have to keep in mind that I am a virgin on this breast cancer journey and I never know what is ahead but my awesome Father does so I continue walk with faith and know that He has it all figured out.  

I close today with a full heart, a rested body, short hair and a love for all who are reading  this blog.  Our Father is waiting to hear from you today so talk to Him.  1 Thessalonians 5:17 ... pray without ceasing ... do it and you will be glad you did.


Love and many blessings to each and everyone.


gkmorrison12@gmail.com

Let's Talk About Hair ... and other things

Monday and Tuesday of this week I was in a struggle within myself.  I was emotional and felt a little burden in my heart.  All these emotions stemmed from my hair.  As I have mentioned before ... it's just hair and it is and I really feel that way but ... it is very emotional knowing that you are going to lose it all.  My sweet sister in law and I had talked on Monday night and she offered to come cut my hair for me and all I could think about was the fact that 29 years ago she also cut all my Mother's hair off.  The emotions just kept flooding my heart.  On Tuesday I called her and ask her to cut it for me.

She is such a sweet person and came here to my house.  When she walked in the talking began and I felt better already.  I got in my chair and she began scissor cutting to get the long stuff off because the plan was to buzz it off.  I am so thankful for our gift of gab because it was such a wonderful distraction.  Originally we were just gonna buzz it off with the clippers but instead she ended up pulling on it and telling me how connected it still was and she scissored it into a spikey short style.  I don't know who put all that blonde color on there <sly smile> but when that was cut off, I realized how dark my hair really is.  It's brown.  She spiked it up and it is very cute.  Short and cute.  I love it.  I know now what my hair style will be when my hair grows back.  It will be a little longer and yes, probably some blonde tips thrown in.  I am now going to look for a spikey wig.

Once my hair was cut and spiked, all my emotions settled down and I was ok.  I faced my fear and it didn't get the best of me. Yes, it's just hair and it doesn't define me but no matter which way you cut this pie ... it is emotional for a woman to lose her hair.

When I began this blog I said I wanted to share everything about my journey.  So what is everything?  Only the good ... only the good with a little of the bad .... or do I share all of the journey?  Well I decided in order to be completely open and honest about this journey, I had to share everything.

So let's talk about CON-STI-PA-TION.  I am of firm belief that those clear bags of poison that was filtered into my body last Monday had some clear cement in them as well.  I have shared with you how much I seem to have to eat these days and we will call that input.  With input on just about anything, there should be output.  I believe the clear cement that was in those bags began stopping my pipes up the middle of last week and well there was no output.  However, I had to continue eating every 1 1/2 to 2 hours.  Each time I ate more food, I kept wondering about my pipes being clogged.  Roto Rooter wasn't an option and I didn't feel like exercising.  Alverna bought me some Milk of Mag ... which is yet another pill to take (believe me with chemo there are plenty of pills that I have to take) but I succumbed to take one.  One should do the trick.  NOT!  Next came the prunes.  I happen to be weird and love prunes so I ate them.  NOTHING!  Finally the clogged pipes began to work again after a week.  My friend, Elizabeth, who just completed her journey, sent me a recipe for Magic Muffins which has Raisin Bran in it.  She said the recipe should carry a disclaimer that one a day is enough.  By my next chemo treatment, there will be frozen Magic Muffins in my freezer, ready for thawing, butter slather and eating.

Today the weather should warm up to the 40's and I plan to get out in the sunshine and fresh air and walk up and down the street.  Helena told me on Monday she wanted me to start walking ... I made the mistake of asking if she meant with my next chemo ... she said "NO, NOW!"  That was enough for me.  Yes ma'am, I'll be walking today.

*** Cancer has taken my boobs, chemo will take my hair.  My heart is filled with Jesus and nothing can take that from me.***   Praising my Lord along my journey.

Jarrod Verse
Psalms 28:6-8
Blessed be the Lord, Because He has heard the voice of my supplication. The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults.  And with my song I shall thank Him.      

Blessings!

gkmorrison12@gmail.com

Good Report

Yesterday was my white blood cell (WBC) count check and Praise the Lord, it wasn't too bad.  While the numbers are below the healthy line, the WBC was NOT bottomed out.  The other numbers that they check (my sister had to explain the acronyms to me) were good as well.  All within a healthy range for a female.  The clotting factor count (????) was low but not dangerously low so I cannot play with my tomahawk or hatchet for a while because it probably wouldn't be good if I cut myself.  <smile>

Alverna and I ask Helena, Oncologist nurse practitioner, if we could celebrate my counts and have lunch out and she said yes.  Probably wasn't the smartest decision to go out to eat amongst the public but we did.  We stopped at Teresa's Dixie House on Belknap and had a lunch portion of chicken fried steak.  As we approached the door, I could smell grease and it almost caused me to say 'never mind' but I didn't.  I was so hungry by the time we got to talk to Helena at the doctor office, I was seeing a few stars.  NOTE TO SELF:  Never leave home without food.  The chemo drugs can cause my blood sugar to drop and I think that could be what is happening and why I am having to eat every 1 1/2 to 2 hours.

Helena was very happy with my report about no nausea or headaches (migraine or otherwise).  She told me that what I had experienced with my first treatment I could pretty much expect for the remainder.  If extreme fatigue is all I get, I'll take it.  She suggested that I begin routinely walking and that would help me build up my stamina.  Dag-gone just wish it wasn't so cold out so I could walk up and down my street.  At my office, I can walk around our entire floor twelve times and that is a mile.  I'm just not at the office yet.  My sister has a stationary recumbent bike that she hangs her clothes on <smile> so I can go over to her house and ride that during the day for exercise until it warms up enough to walk up and down the street.

As we were finishing up our chat, Helena looked at me and said, "By next weekend all of your hair will be gone".  I told her that I was going to have it buzzed off this week.  I was supposed to have it done this past Saturday but just didn't feel like getting out so I cancelled.  But it's on the "To Do" list.

God continues to allow my journey's path to be crossed by amazing women who are so kind to share their journey or a portion there of.  While waiting for my turn to have blood drawn, a young woman was also waiting and we began to chat.  She was celebrating yesterday also because she was having her last chemo treatment ... her sixth and final.  I told her that I had my first one last week and told her I was blessed no nausea or headaches but the fatigue was pretty severe.  Ppppfffff nothing compared to this young lady.  She had had nausea with two of her treatments and thrush mouth with two of her treatments.  So what's a little fatigue.

Cancer patients celebrate.  We celebrate the smallest things and we rejoice with each other.  It doesn't matter how small or how big, we celebrate.    God has provided me with celebrations and I am so thankful.  Below is a snippet of one of my daily devotionals ...
As you go through this day, look for tiny treasures strategically placed along the way.  I lovingly go before you and plant little pleasures to brighten your day.  Look carefully for them, and pluck them one by one.  When you reach the end of the day, you will  have gathered a lovely bouquet.  Offer it up to Me with a grateful heart.  Receive My Peace as you lie down to sleep, with thankful thoughts playing a lullaby in your mind.  

Prayer Request:
* Rest and Sleep
* My body continues on the uphill climb to full WBC.
* Nose bleeds stop.
* All of us who are walking this journey.

Praise:
* My family.  I have the most awesome family.  I love you all ...
* My friends.  God plants precious seeds in our lives and they grow in to FRIENDS.
* Good report on blood work.

I gotta run for now.  I need to find the Collin Street Bakery website and try to order me a fruit cake.  I love fruit cake and their's is the BEST.  Anyone else out there like fruit cake?  Let me hear from you.

Blessings!

gkmorrison12@gmail.com

In My Bubble

This morning I have an appointment for lab work which will check my white blood cell count.  It's amazing to me that this particular count can be bottomed out yet I had so much energy yesterday.  It was wonderful powerful energy.  I felt great and ate good and enjoyed my grandbabies for most of the day.  My sweet friend, Elizabeth, who just completed her journey, told me during the second week after chemo she stayed in her house (bubble) to avoid any germs or sick people.  I'm very blessed that I can work from home and stay in and away from people.  Blood work again next Monday will prayerfully show the counts on the rise which could allow me to go to the office.  The following week, the chemo routine begins all over again.

For some reason when I think about my little bubble, I think about the song from Cinderella ... In My Own Little Corner.  Do you remember that song?  Here are a few of the lyrics ...
Cinderella: I'm as mild and as meek as a mouse
When I hear a command I obey.
But I know of a spot in my house 
where no one can stand in my way.
In my own little corner in my own little chair
I can be whatever I want to be.
I goggled the lyrics because all I could really remember of the words .... In my own little corner in my own little world, I can be whatever I want to be ...  OK, so this is corny but I've decided I could be a chef in my little corner of the world.  What???? ... you are asking?  Well I have become addicted to the Food Network.  It is so cool how much I've learned from those cooking shows.  I even told my girls if they had not gotten me something for Christmas, I would like an emulsifier.  <laughing>  Alicia was telling Bonnie and my sister, "Yea she wants it to thicken her soups and stews."  Well that caused a big laugh... But I still think it's a pretty cool little gadget.

I have some questions for the Oncologist Nurse Practitioner, Helena, this morning and I need to write those down.  Sleep habits have changed and even taking the Ambien, I wake up about 1:00am every morning and I'm ready to get up.  Maybe it's because I'm just a high energy kinda gal or my sister suggested maybe I wasn't tired or maybe it's just an effect of the chemo.  I will let you know what I find out.

I love the cold and rainy weather.  We needed it drastically.  I can say that because I'm not out in it but if I were, I would still enjoy.  After the hot scorching summer we had, it is a welcome break.  I wish it would snow here however, Channel 5 says the snow is further north of us.

Praises:
* God is with me and His endless love and comfort is amazing.
* Great day yesterday with high high energy.
* Precious time with both my grandbabies, my sister and my girls.
* Great appetite.  Dinner was broiled pork chops, sauteed squash, baked sweet potato.  AND Blue Bell Dutch Chocolate ice cream with milk it in for a treat last night.

Prayer Request:
* For all those on the roads today traveling to work.  Be safe
* Blood counts
* Pray for those who could be starting their very first chemo treatment today.
* That we all remember what Christmas is about.

I would love to hear from you.  Send me an email at the email address below and let me know what's going on in your world.

Blessings!
gkmorrison12@gmail.com

Sunday Morning

I am happy to report I made it through Saturday.  I was able to eat a good breakfast with my sister, however, I really need to limit the amount of food I put in my tummy at one time.  Because I have lost weight since chemo began, I think my tummy is shrunk way down.  AND NO, I do not suggest chemo for anyone out there wanting to lose weight ... lose that thought right now... <smile>  Join Weight Watchers ... it's the best.  We had a good lunch, again, I ate too much and was miserable.  Lessons learned.  For dinner, I popped me a Banquet Turkey Pot Pie in the oven and could not wait for it to get done.  It was the most awesome thing I had eaten all day.  I think I may cook these ahead of time because I like them cooked in the oven so the crust gets all crunch and combined with the juices from the insides, it is so good.  It takes 40 minutes for them to cook so I really have to plan.  They are microwavable but I prefer the oven.  I could have eaten two of them but glad I didn't ... again, tummy overload.  NOTE:  Just put a pot pie in the oven for breakfast.

My energy from the day kinda diminished by early afternoon and I had to come get in the bed and rest.  It wasn't that I needed to sleep but lay down and rest.

I went to bed early last night primarily because I needed to lay down.  It seems so strange for me to be headed to bed at 6:30pm but boy, it sure feels good when I get there.  I was awake off and on all night.  At 1:00am, Ms. Tootie and I headed to the kitchen to get us 1/2 of a regular Arby's roast beef.  I had to upsize because the Jr. Arby's meat dries out really bad plus I wanted more meat.  After our snack, it was back to bed and an hour of TV and back to sleep until 4:00am.

I woke up at 4:00am feeling  good and decided to get up and turn the coffee on and fix my hair and put on make up.  BUT before I could get my hair done, a good sip of coffee gave me the energy to clean out the fridge and freezer.  I gotta tell you there was so much un-needed stuff in there that it was not even funny.  Three bags of trash later and both sides were cleaned out.  I thought ... hmmm I'll go for the pantry now.  NOT!  I don't think I had that much energy so I will get some help today to get that thing organized.  My daughter, Alicia, went to Sprout's yesterday and bought a lot of good organic produce, meats, pasta and eggs.  We should not have to buy groceries or take-out for a while.  Anyway, the fridge needed cleaning and so did the freezer.  Thankful for enough wonderful energy to get that accomplished ... all by 5:00am.

After that I decided it was time to tackle my hair and make-up so I did.  I want to share that while my hair is not falling out in clumps (thank you Lord), it is shedding.  Now most of you who know me, know that I have fine and kinda thin hair anyway but with the shedding, it's getting less and less.  I've been told that I will have a feeling come over my scalp that makes me realize my hair is getting ready to fall out.  Oh and by the way, everyone who has taken the chemo drugs that I am taking says, "You will most likely lose your hair by the 14th day after chemo and if you don't, do not think that you've escaped hair loss because on day 15, it will be all gone".  Okey dokey ... I have my wig ready and a bunch of head coverings that I've bought.  Hopefully today my dear sweet hair lady, Tamisha, can get by the house and buzz it off for me.  I don't want it just falling out by the handfuls.  Today was probably the last time I will need my hair dryer, styling gel and hair spray for some time.  What a money savings that will be.  You still must care for your scalp so washing and conditioner will be still part of my life.

I plan to get out of these pjs today even if I sit on the couch all day.  Of course my pjs are so comfy and snuggly but come on ... a girl needs to get dressed after about four days.  Maybe I'll be able to get out and take a ride in the car today.  We will see.

Alicia and Madelyn, Bonnie and Braxton met their step-Mom LuAnn and their little brother, Colton, at his school for Breakfast With Santa.  How I would have loved to be there but they took some pictures with my camera and I want to share.  These babies and sweet Colton make my heart sing.

 Sweet little Braxton did not exactly think he wanted to

sit in Santa's lap but what's a few tears when they are 

so young.  Tears or none, everyone needs a picture

with Santa ... every year.  

Madelyn 

Braxton

This is blurry but I thought it was so cute.

I figure he was NOT looking for Santa and Mrs. Claus.

Praise:
* Thankful for more energy.
* Thankful for my family who surrounds me and loves me even when I am probably not too loveable.
* Thankful for an understanding agency that I work for to allow me to work when I can.
* Thankful that God has brought me this far and He promises to never leave me.  How awesome is that?
* Thankful for the Food Network.  It has become my new obsession.
So much to be thankful for.

Prayer Request:
* Energy levels stay good.
* Blood counts tomorrow.
* My son-in-law and most of the men in his family who have taken their yearly hunting trip to Terlingua.  Pray for their safety while there and safe returns.
* All those who walk this journey with me.  We are all in need of prayer.

I pray for you my sweet friends.  I wish for you many blessings today.
NOTE:  Gotta go check the chicken pot pie I have in the oven.  Yummo!
Stay warm.

gkmorrison12@gmail.com

The Week Behind

Praises:
* I did not experience any nausea.
* I did not experience any headaches.
* I am in the care of the greatest oncology/chemo center ever.
* Tylenol stopped my body aches yesterday when I was hurting so bad.
* I am still alive and kicking this Saturday morning.
* God carried me through the entire week and continues carrying me even when I don't have the energy to talk to Him.
* I have the very best family and friends a girl could ever ask for.
* There are only five more treatments to go.
* That all those who have walked this journey before me have been so gracious to share their journey which has given me insight of what I could expect while not necessarily applying to me.
* Dr. Chow, surgeon, released me and said my arm movement is great.

Prayer Request:
* My energy levels return.
* The chemo is doing exactly what it is supposed to do and catching any possible loose cancer cells that escaped.
* That anyone who started chemo after me this past Monday is doing well.
* The Neulasta shot which is what I got the day chemo after is working to build my white blood cells back to a healthy stage so I can continue on with the treatments.
* That Arby's doesn't run out of roast beef.  (more on this later <smile>)

After Monday my week has been an absolute blur.  If I talked to you during the week, I am not sure of anything I said or did.  Monday when I took all the cute snapshots of those drugs running in to my system, little did I know what affect they would really have on my body.  I can honestly say that Tuesday was a blur, I honestly cannot remember anything except the dread that I had for Wednesday because I had my appointment with my surgeon and also the wig lady.  An appointment meant that I was going to have to get up and move and I was not sure where I would find the energy.

Wednesday morning came and it took every tiny bit of energy I had could muster up to get ready for my appointments.  My wonderful friend, Alverna, came and picked me up and away we went.  Thank goodness she could let me out at the door of the doctor office where I promptly walked in and sat down waiting for her to park.  We proceeded on to the appointment and Dr. Chow was ever so kind and uplifting.  I had three questions ... When can I shave under my arms?  When I can wear deodorant?  Is there anything I can put across my chest to loosen the tight feeling of the healing/healed sutures?  Answers:  I can shave now but must be very careful because after this type of surgery you have no feeling under your arms.  I can wear deodorant again.  Do stretch exercises for the tightness of the healing sutures.  I will see her again at the end of March and let me say by then I will have taken my last chemo treatment.  Praise the Lord.

After seeing Dr. Chow, Alverna and I descended the steep climb up to Baylor-All Saints to get to the Survivor Gal store where my wig awaited to be thinned and styled to my face.  By the time we got up there, we had a few minutes to get to the cafeteria only to find they had closed down the breakfast lines and were not opening again until 11:00 ... my wig appointment was at 10:30.  I was finding if I had small snacks during my day of salty type foods, I felt better.  I settled for a bag of baked Nacho Doritos which were very disgusting but at least the three I ate gave me a little something in my stomach.

We got back to Survivor Gal and the wig was put on my head and blah ... just blah ... I felt bad and to tell you the truth I didn't have much 'care' about me at that moment but because these wigs are very expensive I snapped out of it and Liz, my stylist, fixed the wig just the way I requested.  As of this writing (Saturday morning) I am only praying the little jewel looks descent.  And if you didn't know, there are wig products you need.  Survivor Gal puts together a bag with everything one needs to take care of a wig.  I was in no condition to pick and chose what products I thought I would need so I bought the whole set up for $50.  I am telling you right now ... Losing your hair is NOT cheap.  <smile>

When we came out of my wig fitting room, there was a beautiful young lady waiting for Liz to 'fix' her wig.  I looked at this young beautiful woman and I honestly could not tell she had on a wig.  It was longer in length, you know the length young women like their hair and it was fixed so stylish.  I made comment I could not tell and she pulled it up and showed me her new hair that was coming back in.  She was hoping insurance would allow her get a new wig after the first of the year until her real hair got long enough to cut and color.  She was such a blessing to me that day.

I could not wait to get back to the car and sit to ride home.  On the way, I ask Alverna to take me by Arby's and get me five Arby's Jr Roast Beef.  They are bland, good protein and taste so good.  After the chemo treatment, my taste buds took a nose dive and not much was sounding good.  We got the Arby's and got home, I think I changed in to my pjs and got in my chair and had an Arby's and I was in heaven on earth.  I think (no real recollection) that Alverna went to the grocery store for me to get me ... Campbell's Chicken and Stars soup and other things I requested of which I cannot remember any of them to note in this writing.  She ended up getting me things like cottage cheese, Yukon Gold potatoes, red/yellow/orange bell peppers for the cottage cheese, chicken pot pies, Bartolli chicken meal that Alicia could cook, and other things of which now escape me.  Let me say ... the cottage cheese was a great great idea.  Scrambled eggs have also been great.

On Wednesday evening some friends brought over Weight Watchers Tortilla soup and it was so good.  At first I didn't want any but my sister warmed up some of the broth and crumbled my beloved Baked Tostitos in it and it was delightful.

I was told that my taste buds would change and boy did they ever.  I cannot stand toothpaste.  The sweet taste makes me sick and I cannot get the sweet out of my mouth no matter how much I rinse so I am now using baking soda only to brush my teeth.  I cannot hardly stand to look at the Mini Saltine Cracker box sitting on my cabinet, I don't know why it's just that way.  The first thing I had all week that was sweet was Friday afternoon I fixed myself about a half cup of hot chocolate and it tasted good to me.  Monday I had taken a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for my lunch while I was having my treatment ... the thought of PB&J today is sickening to me to think about.  Smells are very powerful now ... colognes are terribly nauseating as well as cigarette smoke.

I have seven bottles of Gatorade for sale if you are in need.  I thought it would be great to have Gatorade on hand for a break from water and it would also provide electrolytes, etc.  I took one sip of the Gatorade while getting my chemo on Monday and almost barfed.  No bueno on the Gatorade.  I cannot even stand to look at the Gatorade bottles sitting on the cabinet so they will be leaving today ... one way or the other.

I was told to drink at least 68 ounces of fluid per day after my treatment which is really not a problem for me. I'm thankful for that.  I generally drink my water at room temperature but all of a sudden cold ice water is delightful.  I am still having a cup and half of coffee in the mornings and it still tastes ok.  I had a misconception of all the water drinking.  The way I thought all of this chemo stuff worked was:  You get your treatment, you begin drinking water and wash all the drugs out of your body and wall-la ... everything was done and you go back to normal life.  NOT NOT NOT!  The lingering effects of the drugs stay in your system and cause their many affects before deciding to exit all the way.

Today is Saturday and I woke up at 4:40am, this was after I got up at 2:00am and had an Arby's of which Tootie got to share.  Once my tummy has something in it, I can go back to bed and sleep again.  I am praying for my energy level to return but have learned that when I don't have energy, it's ok to lay still and be quiet.  With a low energy level, talking is a struggle and when you have to struggle, it's easier just to keep your mouth shut.  I kept thinking if I could keep moving the energy would return ... it doesn't work that way with chemo.  There is no build up for energy when you have chemo ... you just rest.  I'm learning and again I'm so thankful for the cancer/chemo center who is taking care of me.

I'm off now.  Typing has worn me out and I'm ready to lay back down for a bit.  I'm thankful for so many things this morning and I know that this will get better.  I ask for your continued prayers and let me know if you have prayer requests.

Blessings for your weekend.









gkmorrison12@gmail.com