Frustration and Tears

Being honest and open about the affects of chemo.

It is times like these when I do not feel well, the fever takes over my body and there is nothing that I can do about it that frustration and even tears set in.  Fever makes me feel so terrible and I always know when it has come back up.  Yesterday proved to be probably one of the most difficult days I have had since beginning chemo.  The fever was rising slowly but surely.  I called the Center and spoke to Amber, the nurse who had taken care of me the day before and reported the rising temp.  She said she would check with Helena, nurse practitioner, and get back with me.  Around noon she called me back and waited on the phone while I took my temp again.  It was down a little from 100.3 to 99.9.  I had begun having extreme pain and achiness in my bones, joints, insides, muscles, everywhere.  The pain was unbelievable and almost unbearable.  Amber told me that Helena said from my blood work on Wednesday there was no infection in my body but she felt the pain and fever that I was having was caused from the Neulasta shot that I get on Tuesday after my chemo.  The Neulasta shot helps raise my white blood cells.  At this point all I could do was take my Tylenol and try to get comfortable.  I have had some people tell me to take Claritin (allergy med) for the pain from the Neulasta.  So what the heck, I took one yesterday afternoon.  The pain got so bad, I could no longer sit up.  I had to lay down to get comfortable.  After an hour or so after taking the Claritin, the pain subsided some and I was able to move again.

I went to bed about 6:30pm just to get comfortable again.  My fever continued throughout the night.  I wake up when my fever comes up because it makes me feel so cruddy.  Just getting out of bed is a feat but I made myself get up and take my temp.  I record everything during times like these because there is no way to remember all of it.   At 2:0am I took my temp for the last time during the night and it had gone to  101.3.  Yucky does not even describe how I felt.  Two more Tylenol and back to bed.  When I got up at 7:00am, my temp was down to 99.9, two more Tylenol and a bite of breakfast and coffee made me a feel better.

As I continue to read about the drugs involved in my treatment, I learn more and more things.  I guess I'm the poster child for the side affects of these drugs because I seem to be finding most of them ... AND trust me  it is NOT because I am looking for them.  I often wonder if the drugs build up in your system over the course of your chemo and then all these things start happening.  I do not think that I've had all these things happen every time.

Anyway feeling bad combined with the frustration of wanting to feel good brought on the tears.  I do not want to cry because most of the time that makes me feel worse but this morning the tears flowed when I was talking to my sister.  I guess sometimes a girl just needs to cry.  My faith tells me that I will feel better and I keep looking up at the mountain knowing that I have only two more chemo treatments.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.  I know I will get through these 'valley' days and come out on the other side perfectly OK.

Blessed and sending you many blessings!

 genam44@charter.net

Changes ...

As I logged in to my blog site this morning, things didn't look the same.  Evidently "blogger" decided to change things up.  Changes changes changes ... the world continues to change.

Yesterday was my grand daughter, Madelyn, 15 month check up.  During the check up process, it was determined that she still had an ear infection, she needed to go to the dentist (she only has 4 teeth) and she is in the 5th percentile of height, 10th percentile for weight and 15th percentile for head circumference for height for her age group.  She is a petite little thing.  For the ear infections, the doctor began a series of three antibiotic shots that started yesterday.  She will get one today and one tomorrow to complete the three shot series.  These shots are very painful for the little ones.  After the shots, her Mommy will take her to an ENT and probably get the words, "she needs tubes".  My grand son, Braxton, went through the same round of shots and tube for his ears a couple months ago.  The reason for the dentist appointment is due to the skin under her top lip needs to be clipped.  I don't know about you but just the thought of that makes me cringe.

Have you ever had a day where everything that happened just seemed to snow ball in to other happenings and all of a sudden your world felt overwhelming?   I am quite sure you have, we all have.  When this happens, how do you handle it?  Do you look at the happenings as part of the snow ball or do you look at the happenings individually of which they really are?  When this happens, I believe we must step back, take a deep breath, pray, and realize that the car problems didn't have anything to do with the dog being sick.  These are two separate happenings.  If we look at these happenings as the individual happenings that they are, then I believe we can find a way to get through the happenings without wanting to scream.  The next time you have a day where it's one thing after another, sort the things out, handle them one at a time and do NOT put them in the snowball.

Jesus Calling Devotional, February 8:
I am above all things:  your problems, your pain, and the swirling events in this ever changing world.  when you behold My Face, you rise above circumstances and rest with Me in heavenly realms.  this is the way of peace, living in the Light of My Presence.  I guarantee that you will always have problems in your life, but they must not become your focus.  When you feel yourself sinking in the seas of circumstances, say "Help me, Jesus!"  and I will draw you back to Me.  If you have to say that thousands of times daily, don't be discouraged.  I know your weaknesses, and I meet you in that very place.

Not only does this devotional speak to the paragraph above, but it spoke directly to me yesterday.  My fever came back and I started feeling yucky.  My chest tightened up and I was short of breath.  The Center told me to continue the meds that I was sent home from the hospital with so I'm back taking those and using the inhaler.  Yesterday the fever stayed in the 99 range, at 4:00am this morning it was up to 100.7.  I will be calling the Center this morning and reporting this like I was told yesterday.  This morning I prayed that God would eliminate the fever from my body.  I know He will.

So that is what is going on around here.  I'm getting adjusted to staying in my bubble.  I cling to the knowledge of knowing that I only have two chemo treatments left.  As we walk through these last two treatments, I know the words "Help me, Jesus" will be spoken a thousand times.  What comfort I get from knowing Jesus is here with me.

Praises:
*  It's been a good week.  I've been able to work all week.
*  My awesome Jesus has everything under control.
*  My friend is going to help me build my raised bed frames.  Too bad the weather is too cold this weekend.
*  Medical teams that continue to take care of me.

Prayer Requests:
*  Both my grand babies oh, I mean my three grand babies.  Only 15 1/2 weeks until we meet the newest of our family.
*  Those who have recently been diagnosed with cancer.  I hear of people every day being diagnosed.  I pray.
*  The fever that has once again invaded my body decides to take a hike ... a long hike and that it gets lost.
<smile>

Thank you for your continued support and for continuing to keep up with my blog.  I love the fact that you care enough to continue reading.

Blessed and sending you blessings for this cold, damp Texas day.


 genam44@charter.net

Thursday Tidbits

Here's hoping this Thursday morning finds you all well and good.  I'm moving and shaking and enjoying the blessings of feeling great.  Work is busy and before I know it most days, the end of the day has come and it's time to 'go home'.  That would be rounding the corner from my bedroom to the den.  <laughing>

You know being in a bubble right now I don't see much what's going on around the neighborhood or anywhere for that matter.  I guess I should just get out and drive around and see all the happenings, primarily all they are doing to 820N out here close to my area.  I was running an errand yesterday and headed south on Holiday Lane and got to the intersection of 820N and WOW, they already have the supports set for two additional lanes for 820N.  I couldn't help myself so I snapped a couple of pictures on my phone while waiting on the light to turn green.

I went to see Braxton last night after dinner and got to play with him for a long time.  We read books, put puzzles together, Watched Wheel of Fortune (he loves the clapping part) and he solves those puzzles like you wouldn't believe.  The only thing is when he solved the puzzle we couldn't understand his language but we clapped anyway which made him happy because he knew in his own mind that he had solved the puzzle.  <smile>  Braxton did something I had not seen before.  His Daddy sneezed and all of a sudden Braxton started fake sneezing. He was priceless.  I grabbed my iPhone and took a short video.

Last night after my shower I took my position on the couch to watch Rock Center with Brian Williams.  I noticed the longer I sat, the colder I got.  I ask my daughter if she was cold and she seemed fine.  Colder and colder I got.  Then I realized ..... I didn't have on a hat.  I was losing heat from my head.  I am rarely found anywhere without a head covering right beside me but for some reason I had left my hat in my bedroom.  I grabbed my hat and put it on my head and started warming up however it took a while for my body to follow suit.  I went to bed with my hat on and once I warmed up (got hot)  the hat came off.  

I'm really excited about getting some raised beds constructed for my backyard and begin growing veggies and flowers.  I have asked one of my sweet friends if he can help me get the first one built and get it set so I can get going with the cooler weather crops <smile> but if that doesn't happen right now, it's OK.  I know I will get the box constructed before spring.  I can't wait.  Pictures to come once it's constructed.  <smile>

A little reminiscing ... does anyone remember Valentine's like these?  I do!

I hope your Thursday goes well and you have many blessings pass your way.  Be a blessing to someone today.  You'll be glad you did.

Blessed and sending blessings.

 genam44@charter.net

Catching Up

Monday was my blood work check and I'm happy to report that the numbers were good.  My red blood count dropped down below 10 (9.6) but the nurse didn't seem concerned.  When I got home, I reviewed the past reports and it has done a slow decrease from 14.+ when I began chemo and is down to 10ishn area.  It jumps back and forth so I'm not concerned.  I bought some pickled beets when I went to the grocery store and they have iron in them and I love them ... well let me say at this point I like them.  I figure a bowl of pickled beets on Monday and some of my tortilla soup on Tuesday made with beef stew meat, at least I'm getting some iron enriched foods.  My energy level is way off the scale so evidently the low red count isn't hurting me too bad.  

After my blood work, I ran up the street to Baylor-All Saints to visit the Survivor Gal shop where I needed to pick up my compression sleeve.  I tried it on and I will pray every day that I do not have to wear this thing for any length of time.  It is TIGHT.  Of course it's tight because it's supposed to be but I mean tight.  As you know I am a middle age woman and some of us middle aged women have what we refer to as 'bat wings'.  Yes, that's the flap of 'fat' (lost muscle) under our arms.  Well I have really good bat wings since after my surgery it was mortally impossible to move my arms much and add that to the continued inactivity and that equals 'bat wings'.  I will continue doing my lymph node drainage procedures and pray that the lymphedema stays away.  I will have to wear the sleeve when I exercise of do yard work and I'm ok with it.

As I walked out of Survivor Gal, I was hoping to run into one of the popcorn stands making popcorn but no such luck.  So when I got home, I popped me a bag of popcorn and added a tablespoon of melted butter and to change the taste up a bit ... a fairy dusting of chipotle pepper powder.  You remember the Lessons Learned post from the other day?  Well lesson learned on Monday .....  DO NOT put chipotle pepper powder on your popcorn.  I didn't put too much ... just a fairy dusting but it gave me heartburn (I think it was heartburn I don't know what heartburn feels like) but I was miserable the remainder of the day.  Tums did not take care of it and I was out of Pepto Bismol so I just suffered.  Lessons learned ... oh how valuable they are.

After my little outing for my appointments, I worked the remainder of the day. Cooked dinner which consisted of Shake-N-Bake pork chops, fresh broccoli and I am ashamed to say ... boxed scalloped potatoes.  It was all good though.  We had three organic bananas getting ripe and I knew that I would not be able eat them before they went bad, so I made three mini loaves of banana bread.  While in the kitchen, I decided to oven fry/cook/bake a package of bacon (real bacon).  You know you see them on the cooking shows putting the bacon on a rack on a cookie sheet so all the fat drips off.  I guess it worked ok.  I still had to drain the bacon on a paper towel and dobbed the remaining grease off.  We had some fresh shredded cabbage from a while back in the fridge so I fried a little of the bacon up and then fried the cabbage in the bacon grease.  That was just to keep from wasting the cabbage and also a quick side dish for a future supper.  Sounds like I do not eat very healthy but really I do try to stay within a healthy range.  To know me is to know I do eat healthy.  I've eaten turkey bacon so long, I think I got tired of it.  Moderation ... it's all about moderation.  Tuesday evenings supper was a mish-mash.  I opened a can of black eye peas, added some onion and just a bit of Eckrich sausage that was in the freezer left over from a previous meal.  So dinner was  the cabbage, left over scalloped potatoes ... oh yea, I had fixed some fish sticks for my grand daughter.  As it turns out, my daughter and grand daughter were going to Chick-Fil-A to support her school so I ate a bite, my sister came over when she got home but wasn't hungry and we visited.  Tonight's dinner ... Tacos!

Yesterday after work, I decided I was going to do it.  Yep, just do it and see what happens.  My next door neighbor recently mowed my front and back yard mulching all the fall leaves that I have not been able to do.  Since he had mowed, I've been itching to get the weed eater out and edge and cut back the ever growing weeds.  The weather was good and not too cold so I got the weed eater down, plugged it in and went to town edging and chopping weeds, anything that got in my way.  I then got the blower and blew all the stuff back up in the yard (so the weeds could seed and make more weeds <LOL>).  After that I got the pruners and chopped the crepe myrtle that is in the flower bed back to a twig of which I will be digging up soon.  The weather has been so warm that my three bunches of elephant ears are starting to sprout.  GREAT!  It'll probably freeze and kill all of them.  My mind is reaching for spring and the things I want and intend to get done for this coming spring/summer season.  I have gotten many ideas out of this magazine ....

I'm thinking some raised beds made from wood frames, probably 2 X 8's will grow some things nicely in the back yard.  Yes ... spring fever has set in ... along with the cabin fever <LOL>.

I want to start exercising .... slowly but none the less exercising.  I walk with Tootie but I need to exercise.  I'm thinking the Wii.  All in all I think my body has held up with the limited activity of the last 4 months but I know I will feel better when I get more active.

I'm sure there is more that I wanted to say today but it's time to go to work.  I have prayed for you who are reading my blog this morning.  God has got today under control so when you feel overwhelmed, remember Him and talk to Him.  He will calm your fears.

Blessed and sending blessings to you on this wistful chilly Wednesday.


 genam44@charter.net

Received Today

I could not wait to share this photo and the scripture that accompanies.  A long time friend (retired NWS), Marsha sent this to me and it is beautiful.  Thank you Marsha.

Psalm 91:4  

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you
with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

There is absolutely nothing to fear about tomorrow;
For God is already there.

genam44@charter.net

Things I Have Learned

Over my 55 years of life that I have learned so many things from so many different people.  From the slightest of things to very important things.  Life teaches us, doesn't it?  People make impressions on us and we may not realize it until many years later.

I was thinking about this yesterday as I shared a story with my sister and daughter about my Mother in Law.  (Yes, I still call her my Mother in Law ... she will always be that as well as my friend).  When I was married and we would go to my in-laws house in the evening, I always noticed that early evening ... oh say 5:30ish - 6:00 pm time frame, my Mother in Law always had the beds turned back, getting everything for climbing in to that bed.  In my later years, I do the same thing.  When it's bed time and I'm tired, I like coming in to my bedroom and not having to fiddle with the big comforter and blankets, sheets and pillows to get in bed.  This is one of the things my Mother in Law taught me without even knowing she touched my life in that way.  She also taught me about "cold plates".   My Father in Law was in refrigeration sales and service and traveled through out the week so my Mother in Law was alone at night for dinner.  When she would get home from her Tom Tom's Day Care job, she would make her a 'cold plate' for dinner, wrap plastic around it and put it in the fridge for when she was ready to eat later.  I never heard of a 'cold plate' because we always had sandwiches and chips and such.  A cold plate is a nosh of some type of lunch meat perhaps, pickles, cheese, veggies, etc ... just whatever you want on your cold plate.  Cold plates have become one of my favorite easy light meals.  Thank you Mrs. Morrison for the many things you have taught me over the years.  By the way, this sweet lady lives in a retirement center in her own little apartment and is either 94 or 95 years old.

Other things I was taught and this was by my own parents.  We were taught to appreciate and respect the things we had in our lives no matter the smallness or the magnitude, whether ours or someone elses.  I grew up in a very modest little home built by my Dad.  He was a union brick layer and worked hard all his life until he was forced to medically retire.  We were taught to say Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes Sir, No Sir, Thank you and Please.  We were taught not to take advantage of the little things in our lives.  We were taught to respect everyone and everything.  I learned the love of outdoors from my Daddy.  I learned to hug and say "I love you" from my Mom.  Mom taught me to cook by not even knowing she was teaching me.  Sitting in the kitchen with her while she cooked and watching her put this and that into a meal, taught me that I don't need recipes but can think up delicious recipes on my own.  Mom taught me the enjoyment of a good glass of wine.  Due to our modest upbringing, all three of us kids know the meaning of a dollar which came from our parents.  These are just a few of things my Mom and Dad taught me.

My nephews have taught me things ... one that has had an impact on my life.  Last Christmas when we were sitting around the lunch table having I'm sure a very unhealthy fast food meal, I grabbed the salt shaker and sprinkled away before I ever tasted my food.  They both started ragging on me and told me that was not good for me and I should stop salting things.  From that day to this, I stopped using the salt shaker unless it's one of those things that just need a little salt ... like eggs and baked potato ... and even those sometimes do not require salting.  Remember, learning doesn't have to be a big thing but includes all the small things as well.

My sister has taught me so many things over the years.  We've always been sisters but the last several years we became friends.  Friends and sisters (and brothers) are priceless.  My sister sees things in a whole different light than I do ... trust me she always has.  I am so thankful she does.  We talk every morning on our way to work and I bounce things off her and she bounces things off me.  We learn so much from each other but I gotta tell ya, she's the real teacher between the two of us.

My girls have been endless sources of information through out their lives.  They can not even know how much they have taught me and there's too much to list.  Who knew how much a person could love until they became a parent?  I didn't until I became one.  Parental love is a whole new subject in the school of life.  I am thankful for my girls and I pray that their little ones can be learning tools for them as well.

So when you think about the things you've learned over your life, does anything specific come to mind?  The few things I've listed are the things that I think had wonderful impacts on my life and I'm proud to say that these lessons ... were just that ...  lessons in life.  People touch our lives every day and leave a mark on it, hopefully a good mark but if not, there are still lessons learned from the harder lessons in life.  I'm thankful for these that have touched my life that I have listed but know also there are many many more who have touched my life that I did not list.  I'm thankful for the many lessons of life, the opportunities to learn in silence just by watching someone, wonderful people who have taught me and never even knew it.

During my journey through cancer and treatment, my awesome God has been the greatest teacher of all.  I'm so thankful and appreciative for the many lessons I've learned on this journey as He has walked and talked me to this point.

Today I hope my post brings back a fond memory or a lesson that you have learned and didn't realize it was a lesson.  I love reminiscing and sharing my lessons, memories and love that has surrounded me all my life.  Lessons can come in a small package so don't miss it.

Blessed and sending many blessings.

 genam44@charter.net

A Beautiful Saturday

Saturday proved to be a good day.  I think all the sleep I had gotten the night before (which I was very thankful for) kinda made me a little draggy starting my day but as the day wore on, the energy level sort of leveled off.  Being tired does not fit me well and I think I get a little irritated with myself ... OK, so I know I get a lot irritated with myself.  You see I grew up with a Daddy that believed no matter how late you were out on a Friday or Saturday night, you had to get your bum up out of that bed by 7:00am-8:00am on Saturday and Sunday morning and get going.  There was none of this "sleeping in" until 10:00am-11:00am on Saturday and Sunday.  I believe after all our growing up years, this process stuck with us and sleeping late is just not in the cards.  (Us - I am referring to my sister and brother)  My sister and brother are exactly the same way.  We all get up early and get our days going.  It's funny because we also all leave for work at the same time every work day morning ... 5:30am.  We all three do most of our phone talking to each other on our way to work.  My sister and I talk every day and my brother checks in with one or both of us generally about once a week.  Who needs to sleep late?  It just waste your day, right?  Right!

Saturday my daughter, Bonnie, needed to go to Sam's to get a battery for the car that I had sold them a while back.  Her Dad took the battery out for us and away Bonnie and I went to Sam's to get the battery prorated and buy a new one.  It took just a few minutes and $35.00 later and the battery was bought.  It was early and Sam's was not busy so I took the opportunity to do a 'run-through' and pick up the things we needed here at the house.  We were in and out in just a little over an hour, battery bought, shopping done and on the way back to her Dad's so he could put the battery back in the car.  (Her hubby had to work yesterday.)

I came home and piddled and then fixed me some left-over canned chili (no beans) I had eaten half of last week.  Shredded cheese and a splash of Louisiana Hot Sauce to make a dip and grabbed the Fritos and called it lunch.  It is so funny what I can taste after chemo.  The thrush in my mouth is getting better and after this round of chemo, I discovered the chemo has actually made my mouth sore.  Happy to report that all is healing and getting better.  My sister came over and we visited for an hour or so and she went home to nap and I curled up on the couch and napped a little myself.

Since Bonnie's hubby was still working, she and Braxton came back over in the evening and we fixed up a frozen Bertolli all in one chicken pasta meal, added an avocado and sliced grape tomato salad and called it good.  And it was very good.

This morning when I woke up at 4:00am, the wheels began turning about food and what I want to fix.  I always know when I am getting 'back up to snuff' when I begin thinking about food and cooking.  Praise the Lord.   Today I plan to fix tortilla soup using a recipe I got from a co-worker many many years ago.  It's the best tortilla soup I've ever had.  You can make it with chicken but I'll be using some type of roast (after all they keep telling me to eat beef to raise my red blood count).  That will be for dinner because I will let it simmer pretty much all day in the crock pot (that would be the new crock pot I plan to buy today at Walmart).  For lunch I was thinking fish sandwiches made with home breaded Tilapia, fried in a little olive oil, cole slaw for the green on the sandwich, a smear of tartar sauce and some BBQ Potato Chips.  These two things sound so good to me.   What do you think?  I am thinking pork chops, chicken of some sort, pork ribs for other meals this week.  I love to cook and if I am cooking, I can control the fattening stuff and keep it on the healthier side.  And yes, I'm feeling better because I am thinking about food ... and lots of it.

I better get this posted and get going.  I have a bathroom cabinet that houses three wig heads with wigs as well as books that I seem to want to hang on to ... and it needs organizing.  I can get this done and feel better about the organization.  I dislike clutter but over the past four months, things got put in that cabinet ... you know the old ... out of sight, out of mind quote?  But before I do anything, my body requires a snack before breakfast so perhaps the remaining biscuit with butter and honey or one of the cinnamon rolls that Alicia fixed yesterday.  Just a little get me going snack before breakfast.  <smile>

I appreciate and love you all.  Thank you for hanging around and reading my blog and continuing to walk with me on this journey.

Praises:
*  All of you.

Blessed and sending blessings.  Make it a good day!

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 genam44@charter.net

A Fresh Pot of Coffee and Hot Biscuits with Honey and Butter

If you're a coffee drinker you know the meaning of a "fresh pot of coffee" just brewed and the freshness of it's taste.  It hasn't had time to sit and get stale in the pot while waiting for someone to get a cup.  Actually a confession for this morning about the coffee... I set my timer on my coffee maker for 4:46am during the week because it is inevitable that I will wake early and I am a coffee addict and want my coffee made when I get up so I don't have to wait.  (Yet another area where I need to learn patience).  This morning (Saturday) when I woke up it was already 5:30am which meant the coffee had been sitting there for over an hour ... getting stale.  I had slept so good that I just didn't care about the coffee and decided to continue resting in my bed that had clean sheets and letting the air from the fan blow across me.  When I did get up, I poured me half a cup of the coffee and yes, it was strong and stale so I made a new pot.  Oh the goodness of fresh coffee.  Earlier this week I had made some biscuits (store bought Grands) and had some left so I heated two of those, spread some butter on them and put some honey and heated in the microwave.  It's 6:30am and I've already had a snack before breakfast.  So a fresh pot of coffee and two biscuits later, I'm sitting here writing on my blog.  If you're reading this having your coffee, take a sip for me ... I just sipped mine with a toast to you.

I worked yesterday morning and it was nice just being able to work.  My energy level was up from Thursday and my chemo boggled mind had organized itself a bit.  I had the left over Olive Garden salad with chicken and extra black olives for my lunch.  My neighbor C. M. came  over when she got off work and joined me for a salad and an afternoon visit.  About 2:00pm we went to Sonic for a milk shake.  I was only able to stomach about half of mine, the sweetness got to me but enjoyed the half I had.  C. M. is a dear friend and neighbor and we laugh and talk about every day happenings and it's wonderful to hear about the outside world and what is going on in her world with her family.

I drove to Sonic because I felt like my Highlander needed to be driven.  She's been sitting in the garage since Monday when I went to chemo and to be quite truthful I think she was a little stiff and stuffy.  I need to get her out and run her and get her filled up with gas.  She's missing me and I'm missing her.

Last night my cuisine was a big baked potato from McAllister's Deli.  It was loaded with ham, some cheese, green onions, black olives and they let you put your own butter on it.  It was good what I could taste of it ... the thrush still exists.  I felt it was pretty healthy because I don't load things up with butter or salt and I do not eat sour cream.  Thank you again my sweet sister for stopping and getting my baked potato.

So this morning finds me rested (Thank you Lord), more energy, ready to put makeup on and get dressed.  My suggestion for you is to not ever take these simple things for granted.  Being able to get up and feel good is such a blessing.  I don't know what events the day holds but I do know who holds the day.  My awesome Lord.

I leave you this morning with much praise for my Lord who has carried me through another round of chemo and He's brought me to this day.  Thank you Father.

I wish for you a fresh pot of coffee (or tea) and a hot biscuit with honey and butter and many many blessings for this cooler Saturday.

Psalm 59:16

 ¹⁶ But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength;
Yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your lovingkindness in the morning,
For You have been my stronghold
And a refuge in the day of my distress.

Blessings!
 genam44@charter.net

It's Friday!

What does Friday mean to you?  Are you retired?  Are you in school?  Are you working?  I think we all have different meanings of Friday's depending on where we are in our lot of life.  Friday's for me right now means that my family will have two days of rest and I will be able to spend more time with them in the next two days.  My family time always means so much to me and at this particular juncture in my life, the time means even more.  As you know I am working from home due to my lowered immune system right now due to the chemo so I spend all day here in my beautiful home with my beloved, Tootie.  She doesn't talk but she does stay right by my side whether laying on the floor or finding just the right spot on my bed.  She follows me in to the kitchen when I go scavenge for something that my defunct taste buds can possibly taste.  So what does Friday mean to me?  It means I've made it through another week.  Friday, Monday, Tuesday any day of the week -- I'm blessed, I am surrounded by people who love me so much that they bend over backwards to support me, get me food that I think I can taste and trust me this is a feat in itself, make two trips to the grocery store to get just the right Welch's (no additives) Grape Juice that I like (thank you Pat so much) ... there are just way too many things to list where I am supported during this path of my journey ... the chemo path.

A little update about this round of chemo ... it seems to have taken a little longer to recuperate... maybe not, maybe it's just my expectations for myself.  My expectations always seems to get in my way and that causes disappointment for me.  God is teaching me patience ... in a big way.  The Wednesday after chemo is usually my crash day and it was but I also found that Thursday was too.  I felt some better Thursday afternoon after sleeping all morning.  Thursday is my day that I usually begin wanting the fresh salads and healthy foods and that proved true yesterday.  So I called in Olive Garden Jumbo Salad and bread sticks and that was dinner for us.  My sister ran by and picked it up on the way home and I had two servings of salad and one bread stick and it was delightful.  Again, thank you Pat.

This week I was blessed with receiving a beautiful flower arrangement from my long time friend/sister, C. D.  The flowers were baby pink roses among baby white daisies.  These flowers make me so happy to see them sitting on my dining room table.  On Wednesday, I received a special package from my friend B.  B. knows how much I LOVE hot sauce and spicy foods.  He was in Louisiana last week and bought me a six pack assortment of Louisiana different flavored hot sauces.  I cannot wait to be finished with the chemo and the thrush in my mouth all cleared up to be able to enjoy the burn of these new flavors of hot sauce.

Praises:
*  Always always my family and dear sweet friends.
*  You ... you who are reading my blog and walking this journey with me.
*  Your prayers and support.  Texts, emails, what ever you do, you mean so much to me.
*  The love of my awesome God.  His healing hands are always on me.
*  It's Friday ... and this is just for you.  Enjoy a beautiful weekend.

Prayer Requests:
*  An unspoken request for the weekend.  God knows.
*  Those who are beginning their journey with breast or any other cancer or disease.
*  Continued appetite.
*  Thrush goes away.

YOU mean so much to me.  Thank you and I love you all.

genam44@charter.net

Day 3 After 4th Round of Chemo

Day three after my chemo and with the Neulasta shot that I get on Tuesday evening to build my white blood cells back up, seems to be the harder of my days.  I decided today I would try to take one Tylenol every 4 hours just to ward off some of the flu-like systems that I personally get which includes joint and bone discomfort, weakness, mild headache.  I know that I will feel like this pretty much just one day and also that some of the effects can be due to the chemo on Monday.  

My appetite has down graded a bit which is usual for me after chemo.  When the appetite goes down so does my weight.  I do however, eat regardless of not much of an appetite as I want to keep my strength up.

By last night, I began feeling the thrush coming back in to my mouth so I began the thrush medicine to try to stop that.  One of the big clues is my tongue starts getting a white coat on it and my tooth paste burns so it will be soda to brush with until the thrush subsides.

Very happy about getting to take the 4th round of chemo and know that I am on the home stretch for the chemo.  Thank you Lord.

Praises:
*  I'm able to be up some and eat a little here and there.  My fruit juices and ice cold water are setting well with my tummy.
*  That my sweet sister is able to give me the Neulasta shot even though it's tough on her.  Sometimes the shot as it goes in burns and I whimper (natural response) but it un-nerves her because it's me.  Thank you Pat.
*  No nausea side affects from the chemo.

Prayer Requests:
*  The ladies I spoke to at the Center on Monday who had much more aggressive breast cancer than I and who are having to take so many additional chemo treatments.
*  My energy level and appetite.

Blessed and sending you blessings.
 genam44@charter.net