Five Weeks Ago Today ....

Five weeks ago today, I underwent a five hour surgery that changed my body forever.  The change only altered my body, it did not and never will alter my heart.  The cancer tried to take control my life but it couldn't then and it never will. 

I do not remember much after my surgery on October 18 except right after the surgery when I was taken to my room where I was reunited with my family and friends.  It seemed that everyone was standing around crying and staring at me.  I could not figure out why they were crying, I actually thought maybe I was dying.   I remember going from face to face and talking but no one would say anything and then my sister stepped up to the bed and told me they were just so glad I was out of surgery and everything went ok.  She explained that I had been in surgery for five hours - the original predicted time was three hours - and they were just glad to see me.  You know when you are the one laying on that table sound asleep being cut on, time means nothing to you and you really have no worries because you don't know anything that has gone on or is going on.  So all of their reaction was joy.  Thank you Lord for such all my loving family and friends.

The next day I was a little more with it ... you know able to feel all the pain, realizing I had a catheter and still had my IV.  Once my breakfast came and I ate, all the extra gear was removed and life with four drains and a cut open chest began.  I was released after lunch ... had to have lunch to take the pain med so I could endure the drive home.  Once I got home and really felt all the pain, I remember thinking to myself that I would never be able to hold my grandbabies again ... ever.  I could not have dreamed up that much pain.  I definitely had the thoughts that I would just not ever get any better and my active life as I knew it was over. 

Today I'm happy to write that the pain has dimmed and my arms were able to hold both my grandbabies today.  Do you know hard it is to have grandbabies and not be able to hold them and cuddle them up to you ... you know like a Grammy does?  It was very hard.  I could get on the floor and play with them but holding them was out of the question.  I'm so thankful for God's arms that hold me every day and thankful for my arms that are now holding my grandbabies. 

Cancer changes your life forever but it doesn't have to defeat you.  I refused to give in to this mean disease and let it whip me without a fight.  Today ... five weeks post-op ... God has shown me more love than I could ever deserve.  He has never left me for one second.  I am so thankful for such a loving Father who has given me the strength to keep going; the love of a family that is so incredible; and the caring friends who have supported me through all of this. 

Thanksgiving has always been my favoritie holiday and this year it is even more special. 

Blessings as we continue to move through this week of Thanksgiving. 

Gena
g_morrison12@yahoo.com