Terrific Thursday

While reading through my devotional this morning, I felt the peace of God surround me once more. Let me explain ...  I have to admit that chemo is scarey for me... let's just review what's going on with me right now.  I am not a medicine taker.  I only take it when absolutely necessary and praise the Lord I have been extremely healthy so when I allow my mind to wander down the path of my journey, it lands on chemo.  The experience for my own sweet Mother back in the early '80's is ingrained in my memory and let me just say, chemo for her was not a pretty or pleasant experience.  She was diagnosed with lung cancer (if you're a smoker ... STOP) which had mestasized to her brain before she was diagnosed.  She immediately began chemo and it racked her body with sickness.  She was admitted to the hospital every time she was taking a round of chemo, the doctors and nurses learned after the first round that Mother needed to be knocked out to endure the treatments.  So for each treatment, I took her to All Saints Hospital in Fort Worth, checked her in, she got in bed and chemo ritual began.  After the first round and the severe sickness, they began giving her doses of phenegrin which would basically knock her out through the chemo injections and she would sleep all that day, through the night and the next day we would get up and come home.  At that time, they did not put in portacaths for chemo so eventually Mother's veins gave out as she was taking her chemo through an IV.  The day she went to get her blood drawn for the next round of chemo and they had to take the blood from the veins in the top of her feet was the day she looked at me and said, "I'm done".  Now with that said, there are memories of her chemo treatments that stick with me and try as I might, I still have a few apprehensions of what is to come.

This is my sweet Mother one day on our way to another Oncologist appointment.  She lost all her hair pretty early on and so she had this wig.  She hated it.  She liked the little cloth turbins that she could just put on and go.  She certainly was not embarrassed or intimidated my her baldness but was always concerned about not making other uncomfortable.  

I have chemo and radiation ahead of me and I'm so thankful for that.  These two treatments will give me extra insurance that all the cancer is gone...you know those little booger cancer cells that might have escaped.  I now have a portacath (port) surgically inserted in my chest which has a line that has been inserted into a major vien in my chest that goes right in to my heart.  Now in this port they will administer three major cancer killing drugs.  These drugs are harsh and out to kill any cancer that may be in there and all the drugs will go directly into my heart.  Then I've thought about the affects of what 'could' happen.  When I was watching the throw-up sickness it caused my Mother, it just makes me shudder.  Then there's the fatigue and few other side affects it can have ... ok, so being who I am ... you know the person who doesn't like to take medicine, this could become a little overwhelming for me BUT then God once again rescued me from myself and spoke to me greatly this morning through my daily devotional. 

DO NOT LET any set of circumstances intimidate you.  The more challenging your day, the more of My Powr I place at your disposal.  You seem to think that I empower you equally each day, but this is not so.  Your tendency upon awakenings is to assess the difficulties ahead of you, measuring them against your average strength.  This is an exercise in unreality.

I know what each of your days will contain, and I empower you accordingly.  The degree to which I stengthen you on a given day is based mainly on two variables: the difficulty of your circumstances, and your willingness to depend on Me for help.  Try to view challenging days as opportunities to receive more of My Power than usual.  Look to Me for all that you need, and watch to see what I will do,  As your day, so shall your strength be.   

Yes, God has given me strength through His powerful words.  How could I ever doubt him when He is the one who is watching over me?  I find comfort in my daily devotionals and every day it seems the words speak directly at me for a circumstance that I am facing.  Thank you Father for continuing to watch over me and forgive me when the world wants to creep in and steal my peace.  Psalm 23 is also extremely calming (thank you Carla for your FB post). 

On another note, I did my arm exercises today as I've been told.  I do believe these are going to help me ... one set at a time.  For that I'm thankful. 

While there are days that I get a little caught up in my own fears, God brings me back down to His peace and comfort.  I've said it before and I'll say it again ... I do not know how anyone could possibly go through something of this magnitude and not have faith in our awesome God. 

This afternoon my friend from WW, Elizabeth, is coming over and bringing a celebratory drink ... Starbucks.  Elizabeth has recently walked the path I'm on.  She's been through the chemo and she took all three of the drugs I'm going to take, she is completing her last radiation treatment today so we are celebrating.  God has put wonderful people in my path ... many survivor sisters that have encouraged me just by telling me their story.  Today and everyday I give thanks for these sisters.

Today I wish for you a God filled day and when things get a little tough within your own mind, think about the daily devotional for today ... God has it all under control.  There is nothing that God can't handle. 

This little guy made me smile.  He is not going to let a great big log get the best of him.  He grabbed the handle off to the side and he kept going.  

Blessings abound for us all.
Gena