I am leading you along the high road, but there are descents as well as ascents. In the distance you see snow-covered peaks glistening in brilliant sunlight. Your longing to reach those peaks is good, but you must not take shortcuts. Your assignments is to follow Me, allowing Me to direct your path. Let the heights beckon you onward, but stay close to me.
Learn to trust Me when things go "wrong". Disruptions to your routine highlight your dependence on Me. Trusting acceptance of trials brings blessings that far outweigh them all. Walk hand in hand with Me through this day. I have lovingly planned every inch of the way. Trust does not falter when the path becomes rocky and steep. Breath deep draughts of My Presence, and hold tightly to My hand. Together we can make it!
Scripture verses: John 23:19; 2 Corinthians 4:17: Habakkuk 3:19
When you read my blog post below, you might understand even more why I depend of my Father in Heaven to direct and guide me through not just this journey but my journey of life. Without Him I could not make it through this or any other journey in my life. I am so thankful for my loving Father who stays with me and directs me when my journey is on the straight and narrow or takes a detour.
Wednesday, January 18
The morning started out as any other morning, got up and got coffee, ready for work and 5:30am out the door. Talked to my sister for about 10 minutes when my brother beeped in and talked to him until 6:00 when I got the office. Felt good, was congested from all the stuff that blew in over the weekend but didn't think much about it. All that changed by 7:00am when all of a sudden I started feeling very cold. By 7:30 when my boss (S.C.) came in to my office to get some information, I was beginning to shiver. I ask him if he thought it was cold in my office and he said no, but come to my office, it's warmer in there. His office was warmer and we finished doing what needed to be done and back to my office I went. Colder and colder I got as the minutes ticked away. By 8:15am I realized that shivering with two thick sweaters on was an issue. My temp had to be sky high. I told his secretary I was leaving and she ask me if I was OK? No, I wasn't but I needed to go home. She got S.C. and he ended up driving me home.
On the way home, I called the Center and told them I knew I had over 100 degree temp and they told me to come in at 3:00pm. Once I got home and took my fever I should have called them back. It was 103.7. I took Tylenol and laid in my recliner covered up. S.C. ended up coming to get me and take me back to the center. Blood work was done and when Helena, Nurse Practitioner, came in and examined me, she said, I want to get Dr. Y, Oncologist). I didn't care who she wanted to get because I was laying down on that exam table and it just felt good to be laying down. Dr. Y checked me over and had a real concern with the temp and said she felt like I needed to be in the hospital. I told her I was just fine with that. They sent me back upstairs to have my port capped off so that the hospital would use it instead of sticking me a gillion times. Praise the Lord for ports (even tho I have fussed about it). In a matter of 15 minutes, the medical staff at the Center had my paperwork ready for me to head up to Baylor-All Saints.
Once inside I got registered and the nice man who registered me, J. C., called for transport but there were three people needing rides in front of me. He goes and gets a wheel chair and takes me himself. It was after 5:00pm by now and lots began happening around me. The hospitalist doctor, Dr. V, came in talked to me and set out a plan. My sister got there and of course being a nurse she had questions ... and of course I didn't have any answers. <smile> We are a pair when it comes to medical stuff. Hooked up now to a fast dripping IV and a plan in place, I felt good to be in such a good facility where I knew I would be taken care of and all I wanted to do was get that hospital gown on and get in that bed and lay down. <smile> My girls got there as fast as they could and boy was I happy to see them too.
Let the Test Begin
I won't go in to all the details but they ran massive blood test, throat cultures, lung x-rays, breathing treatments and on and on and on. Nothing! By Thursday Dr. V. felt the issue was viral but he was calling in an infectious disease doctor (IDD). In case you aren't aware, viral is airborne. Now I don't know about you but when a doctor tells me that he is calling in an infectious disease doctor I begin thinking ... Well I probably caught the one little bitty germ that blew through NRH from Indonesia. GREAT! And then I think, there's probably no cure except the floo-floo tree leaf in Indonesia. GREAT! I will never be cured because Texas is probably too hot to grow a floo-floo-tree to cure me. I continued getting major antibiotics, congestion medicines, Tylenol, and many other things, IV and oral but that was to treat the bacterial infections I had because there is no cure for viral infections, they must run their course. The IDD, Dr. B, visited me on Friday afternoon and he had quite the personality. He had reviewed my file and all the tests results and told me it was a viral infection in my lungs and trachea. He put me on an anti-inflammatory for my lungs and oral antibiotics and told me when I was temp free for 24 hours I could go home.
Little Side Note: Let's talk about Thrush ... Fungal Infection in Your Mouth and Throat
Now I don't know about you but if you've had children, thrush was always something you didn't want your children to get. Luckily my girls never got thrush so I had no clue what to expect. When I was at the Center on Tuesday and Helena was examining me, she said open your mouth. She said, "can you taste your food?" No, not really. She said, "Well you've got thrush in the back of your mouth and probably down your esophagus." Great ... now I at least knew why the two previous nights I had woken during the night with a 987 degree inferno in my throat. Dr. V put me on the medicine to clear this fungal infection up and after just two of the pills my throat got much better. Of course it takes more than two pills to get rid of this stuff so that's one of the prescrips I am taking here at home. If you haven't ever had thrush ... be thankful ... if you have, you know what I'm talking about. My thrush is a direct side affect of the chemo. OH ... I'm very thankful my girls never got thrush because it would have been awful.
Going Home
Dr. V came in on Saturday morning and listened again to my lungs and told me that he was letting me go home. By the time I got out in the early afternoon, I had been temp free for 24hours. After he told me I could go home, we decided I would stay at least through lunch so I could get my antibiotic. My friend, Greta, had come up to visit so she said she would stay and take me home. Awesome ... going home, paperwork cleared, medicine instructions and ride home all in one place. All we had to do when we got ready was to let the nurse know so she could get someone to walk us out. That's mandatory. After lunch, I got my antibiotic and we got rounded up and away we went. It was wonderful knowing you have been cared for by the very best medical personnel there is and you feel better and are going home.
On the way home, Greta and I talked and laughed. Her and her hubby and I have been friends for 35+ years so we have lots of history and good memories. We ran through the Walgreens and left my six .. yes, six prescriptions and on to the house we go. Here's a picture of my house. I was standing in my sisters garage when I took this.
I didn't get to go home but was staying at my sisters across the street because my sweet grand daughter that lives with me had spiked a temp Saturday morning. I was getting closer to home and I could at least see it. God does have a sense of humor, doesn't He? <smile>
Chasing a rabbit here ... Noisey Hospital Halls
The first three nights in the hospital were not good sleeping nights because it seemed so noisey ... all night long. Now don't think I'm talking about nurses coming in and bothering me because they didn't but literally the hall noise kept me awake. Bruce (Greta's hubby) works at Baylor-All Saints and he would come up during the day to check on me and finally I ask him if he could get me a fan? He said he sure would try ... and not only did he try but he got me one and we turned that little booger on and Saturday night I slept seven hours with only one waking time during the night. WHY had I not thought about that earlier? Lesson learned. Thank you Bruce for coming to my rescue.
The Road Ahead
None of us know what's on the road ahead but I will continue on my way with God by my side. I will keep my eyes on Him and know that He has my road all mapped out but He is not ready to share it with me yet. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight". I like straight paths but must say this detour was an adventure and God brought several more wonderful people in my life. I want to maintain as good of health as possible and finish out my treatments. I will be working from home these next several weeks, staying in my bubble. As a reminder and this is not about me but if you have friends who are unable to get out and about due to health or other reasons, remember those friends. They know that everyone's else's life is continuing on and they might feel isolated so send a card or email, make a phone call and let them know you are thinking about them. I know that my treatment is going to end and soon enough I will be able to get out and about. Thank you family and friends for supporting me and being here. I get a few emails from primarily folks I have worked with over the years and it's always good to hear what's going on in their lives. I know I am not walking my journey alone, God has and will continue to walk with me during this time and all the time after as well as my family and friends. I am thankful! I cannot and will not tell you that I am upbeat all the time because I'm not. I have had several down times in the last 3-4 weeks but I do believe that it is because I have not felt up to par for some time. This viral infection didn't just come on me in two days, I think it was incubating for a while and all the while I kept thinking, if I keep pushing forward surely I'm gonna feel better. I've learned this is NOT the case in the situation I'm currently in .... pushing myself only will make things worse. I've had a EYE OPENING experience and trust me, my blinders are off and I'm focusing on my body more and knowing that pushing is not in the cards for me right now.
I am happy to be home and feeling much better. I will continue on with my treatments and working from home until they are finished. There is a light at the end of this chemo tunnel and I can see it and I'm heading for it. I am blessed and very thankful.
Love and many blessings!
genam44@charter.net
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