I think disappointment and some fear swept over my body. I felt my body wilt when I read the word 'nodules' .. at least it wasn't the word 'mass'. I kept reading the report over and over as if the words 'nodules' and 'fine needle aspiration' were going to leave the page. Well they didn't so I grabbed the box of chocolate covered cherries that I got for Valentine's Day and went to the kitchen. I grabbed the first piece and bit the chocolate (I don't eat the chocolate) so I could get to the cherry and the filling inside and sucked it out. I did it again ... after two I was on a sugar high so I stopped. I emailed my friend, Greta, and ask her to get the prayer warriors going. Thank you Greta and also for your uplifting words.
When my work day was over, I got the weed eater and went to the back yard and mutilated the weeds and all the grass out of my raised beds. I prayed as I whacked the weeds. God was probably smiling at the site ... I didn't have a head covering on because it was hot so my white bald head was shining, I had my sun glasses on and a face mask, my compression sleeve and I was whacking. Let me tell you what happens to your arms when you have had major surgery on your chest and haven't done anything physical since last October and you decide to mutilate a whole backyard of weeds ... your arms become spaghetti noodles ... mine happen to be fat spaghetti noodles that jiggle. <laugh> When I took a break for ice water, I had to hold the glass with both hands to keep it steady. <smile> I couldn't show the nodules a thing or three but I could those weeds. Yard therapy (as I call it) is a good thing.
I'm not going to lie .... I had to pick myself up and dust myself off ... I wanted a clean ultrasound report. The report I got is not necessarily anything bad but I think you probably must know how I felt. The girl that did my ultrasound on Tuesday told me that most everyone has nodules on their thyroid, they just never know it. OK, so I know it. I think the thing that was most disappointing is the wait to get in with Dr. C, endocrinologist, which seems so far off. April 4 was the first time she had opening for a longer appointment to do the 'fine' needle aspiration. I begged (not really but I whined) that girl, Autumn, to see if she could find anything sooner ... you know me ... I'm still learning patience ... but she didn't have anything. I ask her if she would put me on the 'cancellation list' and if they called, I could be there anytime. She said she would so I guess I've done all that I can do.
I know that God is with me. Look where He's brought me so far. He knows what's in these nodules ... He's telling me .... 'Gena, my child, I'm still here and you need to keep talking to Me. At times like these, I want you with Me. I am not going anywhere and I want you to stay with Me'. --- I am like a small child, holding my hand up to grab my Father's hand. I praise Him and His magnificent plan for me.
I didn't cook last night. Instead we took advantage of the last day for the $5 footlongs at Subway. I tried the Italian BMT and I'm sure it was good but it had absolutely no taste to me. On the other hand, the jalapeno chips did and they burned my tongue which I thought was healed. <smile> By last night I was exhausted physically and mentally and slept really well.
Praises:
* Excellent doctors who continue to care for me.
* Being able to get outside yesterday afternoon and get some things accomplished.
* My health.
* Supporting family and friends.
* Many many more things.
Prayer Request:
* Nodules are just that ... nodules and nothing else.
* People that are going through much worse treatment and news than I am.
* My grand daughter. She came home from day care with a temp yesterday and we think it's ears again.
Thank you for continuing to read my blog and walk with me on my journey. When you write about your life, it really becomes a journey whether you are going through tough times or good times ... life is a journey and I don't want to miss one minute of it.
Today I know I am blessed and I pray for you many blessings.
genam44@charter.net
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