What Happens When Frustration Sets In?

A new day has dawned and I am praising God for feeling so much better than Monday.  I can take a deep breath now without the feeling of a knife sticking in the bottom portion of my left lung ... this is a BIG ... Praise the Lord.  My energy level is coming back up.  My frustration, and I know so very well that it is temporary, comes when I must be careful.  Careful about getting too tired, careful about being around people who may be sick or have been sick in the last several days, trying to eat right even when I'm not hungry (well ok I try to do this all the time).  I'm frustrated with daytime TV ... while I love the Olympics, they are about to get on my last nerve.  I mean who knew that there were nine jillion swimming races and so many different types of strokes and they all have a different stroke (we called it paddling when I was growing up ... you know dog paddle or arm over shoulder paddle or whatever).  <smile>  I think it's time that we move on to synchronized swimming, pole vaulting ... whatever is next.  <laughing>

Another day at the Olympics

I know all my frustration stems from the set back of once again knowing that my body still may have issues from the breast cancer treatments.  I try hard not to complain because I am so thankful for where I am today as opposed to where I was 5 months ago ... which by the way was in the middle of chemo.  Those days are gone ... Praising.

I read this morning that no matter what is going on or where we are in our lives ... good or not so good ... God is still in His Holy Temple.  He will always know what is ahead for me, He always looks out for my best interest.   1 Peter 5:7 Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.  What a great scripture.  He is watching out for everything that concerns me ... me ... little whiney Gena.  John 14:27 I am leaving you with a gift --- peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives.  So don't be troubled or afraid.  OK, that sews it up ... I'm jumping off now ... yes, jumping off the poor pitiful 'me' box and getting on with the day.  The day which God has given me ... He wants me to rest and take care of myself and be trouble free.  Who in the world am I to dispute Him?   Thank you for Father for letting me vent my frustrations and not turning your back on me.  I know You are looking out for my best interest and all I can do is say thank you and follow the instructions I have been given.  Amen 

Now let's talk about customer service reps on the telephone.  Anyone out there ever get so frustrated with those people ... those customer service reps ... who are by the way are just doing their jobs ... that you want to scream and shout ugly words?  I know you are out there, as well as, the person sitting here typing has been the same way.  Months ago when I was not able to work in the office due to my compromised immune system (chemo), I was blessed to get to work from home - Praising.  I was provided a laptop by my work and I think from the git-go that laptop did not like me.  It seemed I had more problems with that thing than you can shake a stick at.  Of course, it was not ME, the operator, it had to be that laptop.  There were log on issues, there were password issues (more than I can count), email issues ... ugghhh!  But I persevered, as well as, all the IT guys at work who I, it seemed, was in constant contact with ... almost daily.

This is how I felt that day and
probably looked except I
was completely bald at the time.

I was working at home one day and the internet decides to take a road trip ... packed it's bags and walked right out of my house.  Now I don't know about you but I have never understood how something can be working one minute and all of a sudden just decides it wants to pack it's bags and go south.  How and why?  That particular day my internet did.  I know just enough about all this to probably be very dangerous, however, I do not know enough.  A mild frustration settled in ... OK, maybe medium frustration.  I called my internet provider who I believe was probably in a foreign country.  It seemed she wanted me to disconnect the cord from the wall that is behind the heaviest file cabinet and chest of drawers that holds my TV.  I said ... Lady, I have had major surgery and you want me to disconnect this cord from there?  Why can't I disconnect the cord from the modem?  In her broken English, she said ... Oh no, won't work.  Must be disconnected at the wall.  Well GREAT!  I was able to wiggle the file cabinet out of it's indented home in the carpet and reach behind the very heavy chest of drawers and disconnect the stupid cable.  After leaving it disconnected about TWO minutes (really two minutes disconnected is going to fix my internet) she said ... Ok, now reconnect.  Duuuhhh!!!  Reconnecting was harder than disconnecting because I had that connection thingy with that needle like thing on the end of it that had to fit in the hole so it would let me screw it back on.  Uggghhh!  Can you see my frustration building?  I wanted to scream at her and tell her to come here and fix it.  And do it NOW!  I didn't feel like disconnecting and reconnected all these cords ... you know the scenario because you've probably faced something similar at one time or another.  To make the story a little shorter ... this did NOT fix my internet ... frustrated even more.  I ended up having to have a new cable run through the attic from the far side of the house to where I needed it.  A big blessing, they didn't charge me - Praise - and they did fix my internet.

I shared my story because something struck me while I was being 'mean' to the lady on the other end of the phone that day ... all because I was frustrated.  It wasn't her fault that my internet wasn't working.  She was doing her best to get it back up and running.  This was her job ... she was doing her job.  I was the one who was being mean and hateful and how sorry I am for doing that.  I realized that day that being mean never accomplishes anything.  I can only hope the lady on the other end of the phone that day will forgive me from afar and I know that I was the one in the wrong.  Since that time, I generally speak these words first when I make a call for something that has frustrated me ... I know this is not your fault so please forgive me if I seem a little short OR better yet ... I chose the higher road and am nice from the start to finish.  Psalm 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath, Do not fret; it only causes harm.  

This morning my frustration is minor.  The devil continues to try to get his ugly foot in the door and take me down but it is not going to work.  God has brought me this far and I am not turning back ... I'm moving forward with Him.  The devil can pack his bags and head south ... maybe he will find the internet connection that packed and left a few months ago.  They deserve each other.  <laughing>  So when you feel frustrated and we all do, remember 1 Peter 5:7 Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.  

God is using this time that I am off allowing my body to heal ... to grow me.  He is growing me in many ways.  While I say that my life will have a new normal and it does ... my life will have a new walk ... a much closer walk with my precious Savior.  Thank you Father for this time of slowing down and learning and hearing you.  There are hidden gifts in the tough stuff.  There is grace and honor to be gained.  I will only see those gifts when I stop and realize they are gifts.

Blessed and praying blessings for you today.  Let's never forget to praise God for all He is doing and pray for all who need our prayers.


 genam44@charter.net