The Swirlings In My Mind

Isn't it funny how when you are not feeling your best, your mind goes to swirling about things you want to do?  It happens to me every time that I am in a place where I may not be feeling my best.  My body is saying, "no ... you need to rest" and my mind is saying, "gosh, let's go get all those bags of potting soil, cow manure, plants and let's get planting."  And so starts the little battle among the body and mind ... I love it.  Then there is the decision as to which one to listen to, I actually listen to both.

I know my limitations as this point so I will do what I can do.  I have some pots from last year that have last years potting soil in them that needs to be fluffed, you know kinda tilled like you would a garden.  I can get those pots to the back patio and fluff them and go get some lettuce and other stuff that my brother has told me I still have time to plant while the weather is still cooler.  If I take my time and perhaps with a little help from my daughter and sister, I can possibly get the potting soil for my raised garden beds and get those beds prepped.  (I figure my sister and daughter are reading this and saying .... NO WAY! <smile>)

I have a question for you reading this blog post.  What makes you happy?  For me it's being busy.  I love to grow things.  I love to feed the birds.  I love being outside and thinking of what I can do here or there.  For years I put so much pressure on myself though that I do not know that I always enjoyed life.  After being diagnosed with breast cancer and going through the surgery and almost all of the chemo, my life changed.  I now know how to enjoy life.  I used to put so much pressure on myself ... run here, run there, get this done, get that done that I never stopped to smell the flowers I planted and grew.  NOT anymore.  I do not get in any hurry for anything.  I refuse!  It is not worth the toil it takes on your body.   I take my time now for any project I do and if all the things I 'want' to get done do not happen, well there's always tomorrow.  If the Lord takes me before tomorrow, then He didn't deem those things as important.

Now I must admit that this does not stop my mind from swirling but I keep that in check and just proceed with a little at a time.  I'm much happier now in my new laid back way of life and I'm thankful.  Thankful that I realized that it's ok to not hurry here and hurry there all the time.  We never stop learning these life lessons.  Sometimes it takes some of us longer to learn them than others but the blessings that come from learning are tremendous.

Yesterday's post was on 'thankful'.  Today I continue to be thankful.

Philippians 4:6-7 - Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present yourself to God.  And the peace of God,  which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Quick update:  I am thankful to be feeling so much better today.  When I post how I feel after chemo, it is because when I started this blog last October, I said I would write about the good, the bad and the ugly of my journey.  I had someone say to me this week ... how's your pity party going?  I would like to say, my health reports are NOT pity parties, they are true to life feelings, things that I and others are going through with our treatments.  I am sorry for the person who made the reference of the pity party.  I have to remind myself that people may not have a clue or just do not know what to say and use an unfortunate choice of words.

Blessed and sending blessings for a beautiful Saturday!

 genam44@charter.net